I am so hurt and fuming mad at the moment. Quick little background. I have 3 step sons (SS-STB16 in a weeks time, SS13 and SS9). I have been in a relationship with my other half for 6 years now.
My 2 younger SS’s live with BM and SS16 has been living with us for the last 3 years because BM couldn’t handle him and kicked him out.
BM and I have had our fair share of issues but over the last year or 2 things have gotten much better and we now have a cordial relationship for the skids sake.

About 8 months ago BF and I were having a very hard time with SS16 so BM decided that it would be best if we met up with SS16 and tried to sort out these issues. At the time the main issue was that I was the one who became the main disciplinarian for SS16 because of the hours BF works (before you ask, yes BF was and is very supportive and backs me up when needed). SS16 had problems doing as he was told and answering back, which over time became too much for me to handle. During this meeting with BM and SS16 we noticed that SS16 had been playing us all off against each other. He would over-exaggerate punishments I’ve given him to BM and tell her that that I was punishing him for no reason. When SS16 would come back from his weekend with BM, he would tell BF and I stories of things that had happen at her house and how he hates going there (please also bare in mind that SS16 can not stand his 2 younger brothers, this is 1 of the reasons why BM kicked him out).
So to cut a long story short all 3 of us (BM, BF and I) decided that maybe it would be best if we split custody 50/50. So we would have him for a week and BM will then have him for a week. SS16 only lasted the weekend with BM and called us Sunday night saying that he doesn’t want to stay there and can he please come back home. We sat down with him, went through the house rules again and told him we will not be putting up with any disrespect and that if he wants to live in this house he better smarten up his act.

Since then things were going along as smooth as can be with a teenager. When his disrespectful or not doing as he is told, BF or I punish him by banning him from his beloved xbox and the Internet. After some of his temper tantrums BF and I told him that if he wanted to go back to live with BM that we understood and wouldn’t be mad at him, which he would always reply with I hate it at moms, no way. Over the last couple of months SS16 has even been saying that he doesn’t even want to go to BM’s on our off weekend and still complains every Thursday evening when he is due to go to BM's the following day.

Now, fast forward to last night. BF gets a phone call from BM about CS, as per most of the BM’s I’ve read about on here, she wants more money. There conversation ended abruptly and about 10min later BF receives a text from BM saying the following:
I’m not dealing with you anymore; I’m going through child support to have your pay garnished every month. As for Mary-Jane she better stop abusing SS16 and if she can’t handle him send him home to me.
I am so hurt and angry at SS16. BF has been very supportive and he knows that I have never abused or done anything to this kid, SS16 is just playing us off one another again. I’ve told BF that I can’t do this anymore, that I want SS16 to go back to his mothers or I need to disengage completely which to be honest isn’t going to work seeing as I’m the one that’s home and BF isn’t. BF totally lost it at SS16 last night and asked him to give us an example of when I have abused him and SS16 response was that one time because SS16 wasn’t doing as he was told I lost my cool and said “oh for fuck sake, can you please just do as your told”. Yes I swore, yes it was wrong, am I abusive hell no.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I care for SS16 but hate his guts all at the same time. I can’t even stand the sight of him at the moment, BM and I worked so hard to get a working relationship going for the skids and SS16 just crushed it. To make matters worse it’s SS16 birthday on Tuesday (he actually turn 16) and quite frankly I want to throw his presents away as he doesn’t deserve any.

There is so much more to the story but I've just given the main gist of what's going on at the moment.

I’m very depressed and to be completely honest I even feel suicidal sometimes. I’m tried and just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I love my man more than life itself but I hate what my life has become.