bm has been watching ss because she cant afford day care, so on our days, dh has to see her fat face twice and ss is spending almost every day with bm. dh and i decided not to press the issue of child care because ss seemed to be acting fine, and we could use the extra 250 a month rather than spending it on child care....so we thought great, bm is a free baby sitter...well as we all know, NOTHING is free.

ss has been with bm everyday obviously, and with mil as well. mil called my dh when ss was with her and burst in to tears, so im sure mil gave ss an earful about why im the horrible person making her cry. ss has digressed in to the nasty trailer park child that you would expect from bm. no please and thank you...and has now taken to acting like im not even there.

last night dh got home with ss, i was making dinner. dh tells me ss wants a salad, so he starts to make one...at least he did it him self...but i was like really? ss wants it so you jump..what about the things i wanted you to get done this weekend? anyways....ss does not say a word to me, so i carry on with making dinner and interacting with dh all the while ss is standing in the kitchen asking dh every second what he is doing annoying the crap out of me but still not saying a word to me....so we eat dinner, ss is totally exhausted!either bm is running him ragged or he is staying up and not sleeping over there. so i go on the porch with dh, i come back in before dh and ss looks at me and says, where is my dad? the living room is right next to the couch (he clearly not only knew but could see where his dad was) so i told him where do you think he is?

so i start cleaning the kitchen and dh sits on the love seat and ss is laying at one end of the other couch, so when i finish, i walk over to the couch to sit down and ss extends his feet, i just sat on them. he gets up and tells dh to send him to bed he is tired. dh says in his baby voice, come here big guy sit with daddy, so dh holds him till he falls asleep and then puts him to bed.

i kept telling myself, dh has to see whats going on, right? ss is ignoring me, putting his feet in my way, etc. but he didnt say anything...so am i mad that he is so freaking bild or if he did see he isnt correcting ss's behavior...

ugh, so today i bring up to dh on my way to work when he calls me, "did you notice how austin was acting towards me..."

he instantly comes flying to ss's defense, oh he was really tired

i just let it go, but then dh called me a little later and said he talked to ss, and told him he hurt my feelings etc...dh tells me that ss says he loves me and he was just really tired, so i tell dh, "and you are buying that? dont you think that no matter what a kids issue is that as the parent you should be consistent and teach the child that he needs to not be rude and disrespectful?"

so out breaks war, dh accuses me of making him choose between ss and i, he says all he can do is talk to him...thats not good enough for me! its not a choice, its him making his child respect his wife and when he doesnt then he should be punished just as he would be with any adult. talking?! maybe the first time, but if that doesnt work than dh needs to not coddle him, and he should be punished!

i feel like i am super sensitive because i read about the horrible positions so many of you are in, your dh's give in because of guilt, they are blind and allow skids to treat smom like total crap!

my question is.............is he doing normal kid stuff? am i over reacting because im scared of what it might turn in to? ugh, dh always makes me feel like im over reacting.