My husband and I divorced 3 1/2 years ago due to his aggression and abuse towards the children. The cops were called on 3 separate occasions and finally said that the next time they could hold me accountable because I was aware of what was going on. After realizing that I could not make my husband change, I had him move out. I filed for divorce and after going back and forth in court, I won sole custody of the children and my ex husband is only allowed to see the children in the presence of a responsible adult. Most of the time, the adult is his mom because that is who he lives with. The visitation arrangements are every other weekend from 6:00 p.m. on Friday to 6:00 p.m. on Sunday. It is also suppose to include every Wednesday night from after school until 8:00 p.m. He refuses to take this time. He returns them early on Sunday.

When the original parenting order(PO) was written, the children were 3 & 6 yrs. old. They are now 6 & 9 yrs. old and are in sports and scouting. I do not by any means think that they are over indulged in sports. From April to the end of June they are in baseball/ T-ball. In August to September they are in soccer and during the school year, they are in cub scouts. The PO states, "The parties agree to cooperate in ensuring that the visitation schedule is met and that modifications thereto are reached in an amicable fashion with the bests interests of the children in mind."

My ex states that he did not agree to allow the children to participate in sports and other events on "his time." He furthers to say that I am "in contempt of court". I mentioned that due to his abuse of the children, he is not given a choice, I have s ole custody of the children. The PO order states that I "may communicate with M as to issues regarding the children, but that S (myself) is awarded sole custody and final decision making in all situations regarding the children." I see that my ex should be supporting his children and taking them to their activities even if it is on "his time." I e-mail my ex the children's schedules, cub scout schedules, report cards, etc. because I feel that it is best for the children. I am not obligated legally to inform him of all these events, but I do so because I feel that it is in the best interests of the children. I send this information to allow him to be more involved in the children's lives. He does not choose to take the children on any times other than what is stated in the decree. I have told him that he is more than welcome to take the children on time that is not designated to be "his time."

I am wondering how the court system and judge would see this situation. I find it hard to think that a judge would say, "sorry son, you can't play in sports, be in cub scouts, or do anything that intertwines with their father's time." There are so many advantages to being in sports, participating in student council, scouts, etc. I am not withholding the children from him, but I am saying that it is his responsibility to get them to their obligations. If he can't or will not, then I will get them there and he can take them after the event. Is it right for the children to not be allowed to participate or be in any event that overlaps with "his time?" What would the courts say and do? Thank you in advance for comments and recommendations.