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Unhappy marriage and mentally draining

SKpeace's picture

Submitted by SKpeace on Tue, 09/27/2022 - 9:27am

I don't even know where to begin!! I'm so mentally drained that it's going to cost me everything!! All because of a 20 year old step son that has a child of his own with no high school diploma, no job, no nothing !!! My husband has to older children that he has no relationship with so with this kid he trying to prove at point to himself and try to make up with this one!!  I think me others in similar situations can write a book on what's going on!! I just wanted to start here... 

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 09/27/2022 - 10:11am

Welcome!

I take it that your 20 yr old SS lives with you and now you are helping to raise this baby? Where is the baby's mom? Where is SS's mom?

I'm also curious about the the other children your DH has no relationship with.... What happened there?

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 09/27/2022 - 10:33am

So, thats a heck of a start.

When you are ready with the rest of your story, we are here.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Tue, 09/27/2022 - 11:10am

First he didn't parent his DS.... He did not teach him to be an adult  That functional adults. Get through high school .  They have jobs and live on there own.  A functional 20 yo doesn't want to be answering to his parents.  
 

What you can do.  That up to you.  If it's that bad and you know than this is not going to change.  Except his GF will be moving in. If he has a child   Yiu will be taking care of it ect    You need a exit plan. Open your own bank account in your name only.  See a lawer pay for a hour or two get your options.   Move forward from there. 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Tue, 09/27/2022 - 11:19am

I would be gone, in like two seconds just from your first post. Are you happy? Are you raising a baby that's not yours that you don't want but are forced into it due to an unparented child? 

reedle2021's picture

Submitted by reedle2021 on Wed, 09/28/2022 - 6:19am

Welcome! 

I feel for you - this situation sounds awful!  Your issue is a husband issue because he allows this and it sounds like he doesn't set any expectations.  So you and your husband are supporting his son and his son's child?  That sounds like a nightmare. Do you both work?  Where is the baby mama?

We are all here for you and ready to listen!  Smile

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 09/28/2022 - 6:47am

Nea

Welcome, your opening is one that gets a big "GTF out now" from me.

I do hope that you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute, and pick up some useful perspective from others who are living the blendeded family dream.

Take care of you. Take it all and leave.  Before there is nothing left after your DH flushes your resources, life, and marriage down shit hole after his shit kid.

Take care of you.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Wed, 09/28/2022 - 7:23am

"with this kid he trying to prove at point to himself"

But what exactly IS his point? That he can ruin a kid's entire future by not parenting effectively? Doesn't he love his son enough to teach him how to be a decent, self-sufficient adult? What kind of future does he want for him?

Can youi give us a bit of background? When did the kid move in? Has he always been there? Where is the baby's mother in all this? Do both you and your husband work? Are your finances combined or separated?