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more on this dilema - would you tell them first or just do it?

sixteensmom's picture

Would any of you first tell the skids you have this documentation (evidence of them hiding money for bm so she could file bankruptcy then they laundered it back to her) and give them the heads up they're going to be in serious trouble if you have to use this information against BM in defending yourself in a petition for more alimoney??

In hopes they'd go to her and tell her to knock it off?

Would you give them a chance or get the hammer (final nail in coffin)

Comments

sixteensmom's picture

THey're not honest people. They're not honest people. I have to keep saying this to myself.
You're right.

TASHA1983's picture

I would be elated to have that kind of ammo against skid/bm! Just saying... Wink

My FDH's ex is a gold digging c*** she will and would say/do anything to get what she wants (esp more $$$) and doesnt give a fuck about anyone else period...and skid is pretty much a mini bm so yeah I wouldnt give a shit!

sixteensmom's picture

I'd love to send bm to prison but i know she manipulated the kids into doing this. it wouldn't be in question at all if she weren't going after more alimony. we made peace with it having happened a couple years ago. but now she's coming to US for more... NOT RIGHT

sixteensmom's picture

We have the kids Bank Statements with huge deposits before the Bankruptcy and canceled checks to BM weekly following the bankruptcy.

sixteensmom's picture

well idk. that's my dilema. do I let this come out in th eopen ? the amount of money we're talking is significant. If a judge knew she had it at her disposal, first he'd send her to jail for fraud, and there's no way he'd give her another penny of alimony

Willow2010's picture

How could 15 YO even hide a lot of money?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was wondering this also.

sixteensmom's picture

sorry it wasn't 15 and 18. they are 21, 25 and 28 now. I typoed. They all had checking accounts from age 14 up though.

sixteensmom's picture

Over the years the skids have all lived with us at one time or another. They left behind their bank statements and canceled checks and carbons, because they're kids and never thought anything of it. They were sloppy pigs who never cleaned up after themselves and left everything laying around. When they moved out, they left it behind and we kept the documentation.

I'm talking many thousands of dollars. Not just a few hundred. All the kids had checking accounts at age 14.

WE knew she did this and let it go for the past several years because at the end of the day we were trying to do the right thing for the kids and not get them in trouble or send their mother to prison. TRYING to make peace and just cohabitate on this earth with such a monster is hard. and has backfired on us 100 times.

Last alimony payment was last month and NOW BM is petitioning for more ALIMONY, and has pas'd all the kids against dh.

So I still don't WANT to use the evidence we have BUT if this goes to court and there's any chance in hell of her getting another cent, we WILL use this to show the judge the kind of money she has had at her disposal....

Not sure if we should give the kids a heads up that it could come out and if they don't want it to come out to tell their mom to withdraw the petition or not.

Feels like the right thing to do is to tell them. but it also feels like that will bite us in the ass again too.

ItsGrowingOld's picture

I'd let the attorney handle the documentation you have about BM hiding money during her bankruptcy. Let the attorney determine if this is useful documentation for your DH's case, or not. If the attorney needs to present this information in court to help make your case. So be it. Just think about what the judge or the DA might want to do with this information if it's disclosed in court Smile The exposure is taken out of your hands and put squarely in the systems.

If the adult Skids find out the documentation was used to help your DH's case. Again, so be it. That information is not coming from you. It would come from BM or the courts.

Do not show your hand (documentation) before the alimony case is settled. To anyone; especially the Skids. Mum should be the word.

You said the adult Skids are PASed out. PASed out Skids do damage to themselves and others. Let them all, including BM, dig even deeper holes for themselves. Deceitful people are eventually are found out and suffer the consequences of their actions. I know, it's never fast enough for us. But it does eventually catch up to them!! Smile Smile