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o/t Grandma is a bully and some people wonder why no one likes them

SisterNeko's picture

A while back I posted a blog about sending out wedding invites and excluding one of FDH's aunts and her family because no one likes them and wants them around, and I said that we expected Gma to get upset about it.

the first blog: http://www.steptalk.org/node/76265

Well I guess she is mad about it - but ironically no one has said anything to us about it. We only found out because BIL2 was talking to FDH on the phone and said that MIL had told him that she wanted to talk to FDH about inviting the Bad Aunt just to put and end to the 'turmoil' in the family. We knew nothing about any 'turmoil' everyone we had talked to about it seemed to understand our reasoning and our choice. No one has asked us to invite her, not that we would any way. which is what BIL2 told MIL. He told her it was a waste of time because FDH is just as stubborn as Gma.

We knew Gma was mad because she didn't come to our wedding shower and hasn't RSVP'd to the wedding. Honestly we don't care if she comes. We know what she is doing, she is a bully and she won't come in order to 'punish' us for not doing what she wants us to do.

I used this example in the last post. When FDH and I didn't go to the graduation party of the Bad Aunt's son. Gma told everyone that she was not getting us or our kids anything for xmas. (BIL2 didn't go either) but NO ONE cared! She gives out dollar store junk.

So it's the same thing, she didn't go to the shower to prove a point but NO ONE missed her and we all had a great time.

I told FDH that I HATE bullies which is what she is. She pushes people around until she gets her way, regaurdless of their feelings, and everyone else in the family knows what she is doing but they all cave in to her. Accept FDH. Which is why no one has said anything to him.

Sadly I don't think Gma and the Bad Aunt understand why they were not invited. They don't think they have done anything wrong. But as I listed in the last blog they have a long list of questionable activities, some illegal, but they expect to be forgiven. Not that FDH and I needed another reason but we got one last weekend.

We went camping last weekend after not going for a few weeks. We have a camper parked on land at the family cabin. We pay our 'dues' to the family every year to use the cabin so we have the right to have it there. But when we got there something was off. We have a $600 generator that WE brought and use to power our camper. it's heavy and we hate taking it back and forth so we chain it to the back of the camper and cover it with a big wooden box when we leave. Well when we got there the box was broken and the generator was out of gas (we always top it off when we leave) - there were also 4 hours of use put on the timer. We asked FIL about it but they had not been up there since we were and the one time FIL had used it, he called to ask first. We remembered that some one in the family had said that the Bad Aunt and her family had been camping in the weeks since we had been up there - but they claimed they went some where else. We can't prove it was them, but we have a pretty good feeling so we told the family that we called the sheriff and reported the gas as stolen and our property 'tampered' with. I told FDH that the cabin may be 'family' owned but that generator and camper are personal property and we have the right to report it to the police, especially since no one is fessing up to it. It's doubtful that it was a stranger since the generator is pretty well hidden, they would have to have been looking for it. Also there are 3 boats parked in the yard so if some one just wanted to steal gas they would have stolen it from there.

It's also worth noting that awhile back - the last time that family was up there - one of the boat was tampered with, the gas taken and trolling motor was broken but FIL's sister refused to let her husband say anything about it or report it. See they all let them get away with this crap.

But we don't. We aren't afraid to say something and report the damage. It's just so funny because they do this stuff then wonder why no one likes them. What if they had broken the generator? or our camper?

Comments

Jsmom's picture

I agree with Hatemydad, you need to stay far away from anything that has to do with that side of the family....Sell the camper and stop participating in this mess....