i snapped, but fair is fair.
BF took FSS3 to the store to get his glasses adjusted. When they came home FSS3 was crying and took off running for his room (which he does when he is mad, he pouts for while and then comes back). BF looked unhappy and started in with why FSS3 was upset. When they got done at the glasses place in the store FSS3 wanted a toy or something - he always thinks he needs something because BM always gets him something. Well FSS3 threw a fit in the store. BF went on and on about how BM always buys him stuff and it's a waste of money. He wanted to tell her off and to stop it (which he can ask her to but can't really control what she does with her money). He ended his rant with, not I am not going to call her it won't do any good. A line that I have heard so many times... that is when I went off.
I told him that I was sick of him complaining but not doing anything about it and if he wasn't going to at least try to do something about it then he voids the right to bitch about it. I added that all you do is complain. At least I think that is what I said. I was seeing read and it just all kind of came out 
It's just getting old, he gets so mad and is like I am going to call her and yell at her (which she does to him) and 5 mins later he is like no I am not going to call her it won't do any good.
So the next morning when my cat wanted to get in in my bed (I was trying to sleep in a little) I let him crawl under the covers with me, which BF hates and has said is not allowed. I love it, that is how I used to sleep every night before I meet BF, he is so soft and he purrs me to sleep. But I figured if BM can do things that BF doesn't like and NOT get yelled at then so can I, right?
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Comments
NOPE! There's an unspoken
NOPE! There's an unspoken double standard here.
SMs are usually the scapegoat for all misplaced anger.
Guilty biodad will just complain and complain about BM but never do anything about it.
The moment you say "well do something about it" that's when they will turn on YOU b/c it's FAR easier to do than to actually confront the all powerful golden uterus.
Watch your back!
I think BF was caught off
I think BF was caught off guard by little blow up, I will not be the escape goat! I have not told him - saving it for a big fight
but I feel if BM is such a horrible mother then he is a horrible father for not doing anything about it.
Retro - I totally agree! FSS3 has autism (but is high functioning) and I am not retarded I know his BM didn't make him have it but she doesn't help him. I guess he was a callicky (sp?) baby and cried a lot. SO she babied him and still does to this day, even though he is not a baby any more. Whatever makes him happy he gets basically and he KNOWS it. I think he is smarter than her and has her completely figured out. If I cry Mom will give in.
WELL I don't care if he cries (most of the time it is fake and you can tell). But he is getting old enough to know the difference now between BM and BF houses. But from time to time he still feels the need to give it a try. I don't put up with as much as BF does, but BF it harder on him than BM of course. We team up on the little guy. He used to hate putting his snow pants and boots on, now he is fine with it because of us. He threw a fit one day so BF picked him up, I put the pants and boots on and we left. He cried a little once it was done but there wasn't anything he could do about it. Now he knows what will happen if he refuses so he just does it. This also worked with getting his hair cut.
Potty training him has been a pain, he will go in the morning usually with out issue (he loves routine) but if you try to take him during the day he cries and throws a fit (which when it is just me, he sits on the potty until he goes no matter how long it takes but when BF is there he throws a bigger fit and BF will tell me to let him up because he doesn't have to go, 5 mins later he needs a diaper change, which I don't change BF does.)
BF and I have had that talk too - well when it's your child it's different. He said "When it's our baby crying you'll cave in." I said "No I won't, because you'll cave first and I won't even have a chance"