I guess if I had kids I would be too... but seriously. Like so many SM's on here if I thought someone wanted to love and help with my kids (and I needed help) I think I would let them.

SS6 has been lecturing us for months that I am not part of the family (yet) because we are not married (yet). BM on the other hand had them call her man 'dad' long before they every tied the not. I am just wondering when it going to happen after the wedding

And it has been bothering FDH that the boys call her hubby 'dad' now, but I explained it to him. BM doesn't want to be a full-time mom any more. She also can't have any more kids and her hubby has none, I think she is trying to make her hubby feel like he HAS kids (in her kids) so that he won't realize what he is missing out one. God I hope that guy wakes up some day and realizes, but whatever. point is it's okay for her to do that but not us.

Then today I had FDH ask her if she was going to the mother's day thing for ss6 at school. I do think that she should go but I know that ss6 isn't her fav and she hasn't been taking off work as much so if she wasn't going i didn't want ss6 to have no one. She told him we could both go - which is a nice gesture but I wouldn't do that to the teacher. I have been avoiding her for almost a year now, while we don't 'fight' it's defiantly awkward. I told FDH I would rather stick my hand inside a blender and turn it on.

Then came the big one - I knew this would be an issue and I am still waiting for the fall out. FDH is trying to get ss4 into speech theropy this summer - which has been recommended by the docs and would be covered by insurance. Going into it I knew it would be an issue - for whatever reason BM doesn't seem to want ss4 to get better so before he even asked I had FDH call them and get the basic info. They said they would be willing to set it up on our weeks - because FDH knows that I will take him and BM tends to just make excuses. If he misses 3 sessions they drop him. But it's joint legal so we need BM's approval. So he asked her today...

She flipped out because she said she can't keep taking off work for these doctor's appts. FDH told her that I would take him and it would just be on our weeks. I don't think BM gets it. It's not like a doc appt. It's more like school. BM has already threaten to get a restraining order against me to keep me out of doc appts (long stupid story - but short version is I went to the city with FDH for a doc appt once, but I went shopping! I did not go in nor did I plan to but she had a melt down) She rolled her eyes but didn't agree to anything yet - FDH left her the information and will ask her again next week.

I told FDH that this we really stupid and BM better be careful, lately she has been making a lit of stupid mistakes and we have been following up with other people. Now there is a paper trail (and reliable witnesses) that show that BM isn't making the best choices for the sKids. If we wanted to go for full legal (maybe even psychical) we are just one of her melt downs away for having everything we need to at least bring her motives into question.