Stop this rollercoaster I want to get off!
So here is my rant:
*BM calls husband constantly for stupid s*&t all the time, seriously constantly, last week it was about SS not wearing the shoes she wanted him to wear, come on now SS is in the 5th grade, he can dress himself if he wants to wear certain shoes let him.
*SS comes home from BM's, DH finds out he did not go to school friday because BM had to work, so she left him at home all by himself. WTF?
*Then DH gets an e-mail saying that he is not concerned about SS's school, because he did not attend the open house, oh ok but you leave him at home by himself on friday, a school day because she did not have time to drop him off at school before work. oh and by the way she can call about shoes but can not call about arrangements to get SS to school for the day, if she is in a bind.
*Beginning of the school year is always fun that is when SS starts acting up at school and starts lying about homework.
*BM's constant jealousy and lying is insane, she is telling SS that her and DH will eventually get back together and that she still loves DH. (she is married for crying out loud)
*Very scary SS is starting to take after BM with the constant lying. We have offered to let him live there, he of course starts crying and saying "No he will be good" I do not know what it is but for some reason I guess she is ok to visit but not live with? I think he knows she is crazy.
Somedays it is just to much to bear. I really wish SS would live with his crazy mother, our lives would be so much easier. but knowing her she would just give him right back once she had her fun just like she did last time and then the situation would be more f#@*$d up then it was before.
Ugggh, I need a drink. So how is everyone else doing? 
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I feel for ya....
My life, too, is a roller coaster ride. No advice right now BUT I'll have a cyber drink with you...Cheers!!!!!!
Very nice...
hope you have a better week! Do you have custody of your steps?
No...
We have them every weekend and every other week in the summer. So "quality time"wise, we are about 50/50 but on paper(overnights) it's more like 60/40. BM is a HUGE hypocrite, like yours....you know holds everyone else to a standard that she herself doesn't even begin to live up to. Recently she screamed at DH for not knowing the name of "your own children's pediatrician" (who she recently changed and he hadn't updated his cell phone) when he asked for the #, but then won't take the youngest to her asthma follow up appt's because she didn't have the money - guess who took her and paid for it!?!
All to familiar with medical bills...
I hear you on that one, SS is not even my child but I have him on my medical ins. and when he needed medical attention for a surgery I took him to the apt. and paid for it 1000.00. this was 4 years ago and DH finally got the money from her but of course he had to sit through lunch with her to do it. Manipulative B#@&h!
Grrrrrrr......
Trust me, you can not believe the ass DH has to kiss to get her to pay for her "obligation" - to me there isn't enough money in the world to make me stoop that low....and I definitely could not sit through a lunch.
It really makes you wonder what in the hell they would do if we weren't there to be their own personal loan officers/banks? Sometimes I just want to cut the life line and tell her what she can do with her pity stories and guilt trips....
I know the hypocrite thing
well. My BF's ex holds everyone else accountable for every little thing they ever did, but she certainly doesn't hold herself accountable for cheating on BF, rubbing his face in it and breaking up their marriage. My BF has his daughter (13) every weekend except for 2nd and 5th weekends. So last weekend was the 5th weekend. Right. This has been taking place for 2 years now. You'd think she could remember it by now. He always has to remind her when it is her weekend. So on Saturday night she calls around 9 pm. So why is she calling at 9 pm on Saturday when he doesn't have his daughter. You guessed it CONTROL. And he finally admitted it. Of course he didn't answer, we were out to dinner and on our 3rd martini. Her message was is he taking the girls to an upcoming family wedding? Now this could have waited until she needed to talk to him about kid stuff, which is every day, and sometimes more than once a day! Her question was valid, but not necessary on a Sat night at 9pm. Wonder where her live in boyfriend was? When he did call her back the next day, she asked him why he didn't answer..he told her with a laugh..he was busy! She knew he was with me..that's why she called! Don't they get how obvious they are??
Hanny
Oh nights out, always fun....
DH and I went out of town, SS had a feeling that we were going somewhere and I knew he mentioned it to BM because as soon as we were out the door DH's phone blew up constantly for the next 4hrs. I am sorry your night was ruined, and I am sure they know how obvious they are.
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time,
this stepparenting gig is a rollercoaster!
I can tell you (as a bio) that I HATE when I have to talk with my ex... unfortunately his wife pulls so much crap, like forcing our son to wear nasty clothes on the exchange days, taking the clothes that we send, threatening to take his toys away if he calls me 'mom' (and I'm his bio mom), bombarding him with questions about me when his dad leaves, stalking me, harassing me on this site, calling my employer and trying to get me fired, etc. The last time I had to call him I even told him, 'look, I don't like it that I have to call you and talk with you for 20 minutes at a time about all the bs your wife pulls'... it is at those times when he tells me things like he is going to leave her when their son is a bit older... Its obvious to everyone that she is not going to change... they've been together for nearly 10 years now and shes used every excuse in the book to try and explain away her behavior... its just now working anymore. He also sees how well my ex-husband (I was never married to my son's dad and my two kids have different dads), anyway, he sees how well my ex-dh, his new girlfriend, my dh and I get along... he gets along with both my dh and I and is now seeing that the only one who cases all of the issues and the drama is Jennifer (his wife)
My point is that I do HATE having to talk to him... and I'm sure his wife doesn't like it either, but what she likely does not understand is that I have to talk with him over the crap SHE pulls.... When her actions negatively effect our son then I do have to talk with him about it.... If she'd just stop her bs then we would rarely have a reason to talk!
When we do have to talk the mere sound of his voice makes me want to hurl, then add listening to him complain about his wife and telling me how jealous and crazy she is, (when he won't do anything about it), then he turns around and asks me to partake in lying to his wife just so that he can have some peace in his home. Its sad that he won't just buck up and tell her to quit her crap.... he even has our son lie to her to aviod her wrath!
It does sound like things would be easier for you and your family if your ss lived with his mom.... unfortunately, she will be involved in your lives forever whether or not your SS lives with you... For me, I wish that my son lived with me full-time... when my son brought it up at his dad's house, Jennifer threatened him by saying that if he moved in with me full-time then she will make sure that he never gets to see his brother again (her 2 year old son). She also threatened him by saying that his dad will never want to talk to him again. My son was devastated.... he loves his baby brother and his dad so much and was scared and upset by her threats. I told my son's dad but again, he dances around Jennifer to avoid her wrath... I'm sure he never even confronted her about it.
After going through that I need a drink too!
But before I mix that martini, I will also add my SM point of view... I absolutely HATE it when my dh's ex calls him up over nothing... She literally never has a reason to call him, she just calls to say hi. Hes like, "uh, hi... okay, gotta go!" If your dh's ex has no valid reason to call then your dh should just let his phone go to voicemail. She can leave a message and if the issue is important then he can call her back... if whatever she has to say is not important then just ignore her.
I also know how you feel with the ex wanting to get back together with your dh... my dh's ex wants my guy back too... fortunately for me hes not going anywhere... she burned her bridges long ago!
Sounds like a good idea.....
The whole letting the phone calls go to voice mail, the only problem is that DH uses his phone constantly because of work and the majority of the time he answers without looking at the phone, I guess he will have to pay close attention when answering his phone now, the few times he did notice that BM was calling and he let it go to voice mail, he was not going to check it and I told him that he should check it because it may be important (since BM was told only to call if it was important) BM went on and on about SS not being in the right clothes. Geez... who cares, SS is old enough to dress himself let him be, if BM keeps going on and on about it she will eventually give him a complex. Poor Kid.
Oh and the getting back together thing, it is funny, sad that I have to deal with it, but funny, DH has showed me e-mails and letters that BM has written to him, and I have been in the room for phone conversations and I just sit and chuckle, because like this and in the majority of the situations on here. If the DH really wanted to stay with the BM he would have, or given the first opportunity to get back together he would take it. BM's who keep making attempts just make themselves look stupid. Plain and simple DH has moved on and I really wish BM would to, she has a new family now you would think she would stop messing with DH. Perhaps her new husband finally realized what a psycho she is and has stopped paying attention to her.