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Whos the wife me or sd?

Sheetshow's picture

Where do i start?  Sd was 15 when her mother could not handle her and dumped her toxic, narc, lying, and happiness sucking kid into my peacefully valley.                                                                                                      Bm couldnt handle her. She was screaming like a banshee when she didnt get her own way, pushing her around and her bf, everyone walked on egg shells around her to avoid the big sheet show, cops being called by the neighbors because of her fits, and they all just let her rule the roast to avoid her going on a rampage.                                                                                                                                                       Guess what? Sd runs this house now, to. For the first year i played the fool to keep the peace. Being ignoed by her, stealing my stuff, stealing money from me, cooked all her favorite meals, cleaned up all her mess, watched him be his daughters bitch..watched him fill the cupboards with all her favorite snacks and food,  watched her not lift a finger , watched him do her laundry , and just as sick as it sounds im the room mate and sd is like the wife here and the boss.                                                                                                                                                 I finally blew up one day and had a come to jesus moment with him. Didn't go well...he defended sd and started gas lighting me. And then he told me to get out. I packed my bag left. It was real fun for five days sleeping on family and friends sofas...living out of a bag and working ....i had no money because it was all spent on covering bills he wouldnt pay to buy sd love with things...id lay on someones sofa and think..im sweating my butt off while you and your crouch dropping are enjoying my air conditioner , lm eating peanut sandwiches while you and your mini wife are eating steaks i bought, im taking showers at work while the little bitch is using my make up shampoo etc....it should have been enough for me to see that im not a priority  ...you would think  huh?                                                                                                Oh he called and wanted to talk. Changes will be made. He put his foot down and we started going threw what bm did.... found out she is hanging out and with a guy that is a druggie and lives on the street...hum..all the time she was going to friends houses for the night she was outside sleeping in s tent in the woods with him and other druggies...she dropped out of school..changed info at school so no one got ahold of him....shes pregnant now...to ..really? The last sheet show she pushed him and left and stsyed living on the street. She call for money...food..he didnt bend ..so she stopped calling...                                                                                                                                                                             my god it was heaven here for the summer he was depressed but I was there for him ..friends and family calling us telling us sd is sitting on a bench with a sign im pregnant and hungry..allmost drove him over the edge. But i have to say it was great without her here ..                                                                                                                                                             we got the call from the hospital.  Sd lost her baby and got the nurse to call her dad cause bf was escorted out by the cops..so i guess she wants to come home now. . She wants to live with us because its closer to homeless druggie bf.. bm dont want her... im like ...oh great.. oh course, i have no say in the matter again never asked or talked to about it.                                                                       

Back to square one know. He drives her every morning so she can meet her loser bf as soon as he gets out of the homeless shelter.  They cant sleep in a tent in the winter.. she spends every waking hr with him. Dip shit picks her up when he goes into the shelter at night ..she stuffs her face .goes to sleep.   Packs her bag full of food from her to feed her and homeless loser ...she been throwing her shit shows her on the occasional time she is told no....she has pushed her father...told him hes a useless piece of shit and will spit and dance on his grave when he dies..she has threated to beat him up..pushes....screams...cops have been called because of her screaming and throwing a shit show...she has even got into my face and put her fist in my face. . All day long she texts and my dipshit man runs her money ..food..if he dont she comes home and gets in his face yeling stomping screaming pushing and breaking stuff...he doing her laundry now kissing her butt walking on egg shells..the girl has a major case of alpha female going on ...                                                                                                                                                                         so tonight i lost it again told him he is his daughters bitch. Oh course , im not supporting him with his daughter ...hum...called him on that bs....every god damn day all i hear is his dsughter ...i listen ..give advice ....24 / 7 is all i listen to him moaning and complaining about her....walking on egg shells for she wont throw a  shitshow...shes again running this house ...i told him she isnt in school....she dont want to work....in her option , we need counceling...she wont go to counseling..then i aint supporting her ass....so told him im paying 1,/3 of the bills. I guess , im being petty....hum....again were back to square one..... i have no respect for him anymore all i see is a spineless man with no balls and being his daughters bitch.... of course  ..she will be gone in  a month because its warm enough to sleep in a tent ...my friends and family said to suck up she will be gone soon...i cant stomach myself anymore watching this douch bag kid who is not mine rule the place. Im literally , sick to my stomach everyday allowing myself to live like this ..i thought of just going out not being here ...start not always being here for him ....just get my own life...f@ck them both....not like either of them give a rats @ss...save get out of this hell...they are gonna drive me mad     ... he wants a room mate i should give him one...                                                                                                    thank you for reading this ....any advice pls would help ?                                                                        

 

    

Comments

Aunt Agatha's picture

If your 'D'H won't go to counseling, it still might be worth it for you.  As well as Al-Anon maybe?  
 

Im so very sorry for your problems with your DH who is just enabling his daughter.  So figuring out your next move is your only hope.

Paying 1/3 of the bills seems fair, but you may also want to talk to a divorce lawyer.  You should get yourself and finances into a position where if you kick him out (don't leave your comfy house) you will be in a strong position without him.

 

tog redux's picture

Pay 1/3 of the bills, get a second job and save your money to get out. This man is not a partner. Stop carrying all the bills for him. I see how he might feel the need to help his kid but it shouldn't be at your expense. 

hereiam's picture

Why is he facilitating his daughter's relationship with the loser, driving her to the homeless shelter everyday? That would do it for me. That is not helping her.

advice.only2's picture

What is so amazing about this relationship that makes you stay? Or are you just numb from years of dysfunction that you think this is what normal is?

Siemprematahari's picture

Darlin' you are better off temporarily coach surfing and living with friends/family than living in this dysfunctional shit show that has become your life. Save your money, get your ducks in a row, leave this man that has not made any effort to improve his situation and NEVER look back. You're sick and suffering with a man that could care less about your feelings, wants and needs. He needs to deal with his out of control daughter and you need help in seeing your worth.

 

Sheetshow's picture

Oh yes ....im being gaslighted...you dont have children you dont understand ....oh shes not all there in the head....oh isnt her faulth ....excuses ...excuses....poor sd .all bs ..tys guys

hereiam's picture

Maybe he's right, it's not all her fault, it's HIS because he is a crap parent. And a crap partner.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

I agree she needs counselling, however.....

this girl needs her privileges such as phone and computer etc away, until she is more pleasant. 

It wouldn’t go down too well initially though. My sisters daughter became a bit of a brat when she was 16 years old. My sister used to give her daughter approx 100 pounds a month at this age (phone coffee make up etc) and she misbehaved because she knew my sister was too soft too take her privileges away. 

I hope things get better for you. I think you are better off out of this situation for now. 

Sheetshow's picture

Tys guys defending and making excuses for sd gets sicking to listen to ...tys again ....dont know how someone can get their head that far up their ass ...

thinkthrice's picture

I gather they are living in YOUR home?

(Big mistake) never have relationship with a guy that doesn't own or rent his own place nor invite him to move in with you ESPECIALLY if he has a previously enjoyed family.