DH finally put BM and GBM in their places. :jawdrop: I'm in shock and incredibly happy.

Every freaking holiday is a giant pain in the ass because BM moved out of the state and she never knows when/where she will be visiting her and her husband's families which takes her all over. Normally she'd get SS10 and he'd go with them on their chaos trip all over the state, but since both the school social worker and his therapist said they don't want him with her overnight (previous post) DH tried to set something up so she could spend the day with him at a family member's house. We found out she was going to be <30 min away from our house Christmas Eve. YAY! DH sets that all up and we offer to drive SS10 there and pick him up for Christmas Eve (so we know where they are in case she tries to pull something like "oh the car broke down so SS10 needs to stay the night"). Sidenote: our oldest kitty is suddenly sick and can't eat dry food so we need to feed her 2 times a day - easier if we aren't driving all over the place.

Of course this is too good to be true. Couple days before Christmas eve, BM realizes that with how they set things up they wouldn't get to the relative's house until late at night so are skipping that stop and now going up north (3 hours away) to her husband's parent's place which is 30 min from DH's parent's place. DH moves everything around so that now we are going to his parents' on Christmas eve and he will meet BM halfway (15 min) to her husband's parents' place on Christmas Day.

Umm, the cat...? Guess who has to stay home to feed them. I'm pissed, we have a fight. I'm tired of this shit happening every time SS10 is scheduled to see his mom, she fucks things up and my Dh rolls over and does whatever so that dear SS10 get's his mommy time. I don't understand why because she's in contempt of court and there's no longer a viable parenting plan in place (DH hasn't seen his oldest since the summer). I've been doing this for 7 years and DH knows I hate how this always happens. Whatever. I'm spending Christmas alone in our new house for our first Christmas as homeowners drinking cocktails, listening to 80s and eating chinese leftovers. Yeah.

So DH and SS10 go to PILs house, open presents, etc etc. BM texts that things didn't go as planned and they are in a hotel and she will get back to him. He texts BM asking where she is and what time they are meeting the next day. Nothing. This morning bright and early BM texts that they can meet up by her mother's house... 45 MINUTES AWAY! Oh? She didn't mention that they weren't going to husband's parents', but rather her mother's? DH MUST have misunderstood. So, what time is DH coming?

DH calls me FURIOUS. Not only does all this go on, but SS16 texts DH that he's not coming to visit because GBM really wants him there and told him she was getting his childhood friend to come over (she does crap like this all the time trying to get the kids to "have more fun with me" - she's posted this exact phrase on FB... GRANDMA feels she is in competition with us). Anyhow, DH is all upset about having to drive again, how our family is not together, how BM cant' get her shit together and then... I almost heard it over the phone... CLICK!.. "Why am I doing this? This is my Christmas and I'm running all over. I miss you. SS16 isn't coming and SHE WANTS ME TO DRIVE SS10 THERE?!?!" I just said "yeah, I'm not surprised." He vented a bit more and then APOLOGIZED! He said he FINALLY understood what I've been saying all these years and he was sorry it took so long to see it. He admitted that he feels guilty that SS10 doesn't get to spend time with her, is he doing the right thing, and he doesn't want SS10 to suffer for her ineptitude, but that this is too much.

He calls BM back and told her if she wanted to see SS10 she could come get him and then bring him back at 7pm. (This is HUGE! Normally he would have just done it.) She has to ask her husband if that's ok. She finally messages back that she will have to just stop by to say hi and drop off presents because her husband doesn't want to do all that driving. Yeah screwed up dynamics there where her seeing her child isn't her priority where SHE could drive. Whatever, not my problem. BM shows up with her husband and... GBM??? Wait, I thought SS16 couldn't come because GBM really wanted him with her? Yeah. GBM is so freaking petty she just HAS to see SS10 and guess what, it was her or SS16 to watch BM's other kids - they couldn't all fit in the van. DH is devastated that it's Cruella De Bitch instead of SS16. Then to make it even weirder/drama, they all refuse to get out of the van and insist that SS10 get in to open his presents. HOW FREAKING AWKWARD!

Dh didn't have time to fully fill me in over the phone, but pretty much he went off on BM and GBM about everything they are doing and trying to pull. The funniest thing, BM's husband kinda sided with DH over how it all went down.

In the end... SS10 was just happy to have seen his mom for a few minutes. He was totally ok with just getting a hug and saying hi. He understood the situation and wasn't upset. He isn't mad at his dad, he's not sad, he's totally fine and happy. The kid is resilient and smart and we don't need to move heaven and earth to cover for BM's fuck ups.

So here I sit, in my pjs, with a cocktail in my hand relaxing and venting with a smug look of satisfaction on my face that DH finally got it. Best present ever! Merry Christmas!