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What's worse - Step Daughters or Step Sons?

secondplace's picture

Well, I've been on both sides. In my former relationship, I had the step son from hell. A totally lazy, thieving, angry, inconsiderate slob. My former SD, while very clingy in her younger years, actually grew up decently and we had a good relationship.

Now I have two SD's who I like, but find them a little clingy as well. They are growing out of it, but not soon enough!

So I ask you all with experience with both sexes. Which is worse?

Comments

Eyes Wide Open's picture

SD24 is "the other woman" in our relationship. Because I met DH when his kids were already grown, I don't deal with BM (only met her once, but like ybarra357, SD more than makes up for BM. She is lazy, entitled, sneaky, and has her daddy wrapped around her little finger. Even when her picture is hanging in the post office, he won't realize the REAL her.

I don't like bi-polar SD26. Don't deal with him anymore.

I would definitely say SD's are far worse than SS's.

Sigh....I'm just sitting on the bench waiting for the Karma Bus!

AlexandraL's picture

@StepAside, idk, if the man has an only child daughter...well, that seems like the biggest red flag waving in the wind right now. An only child daughter seems to be the worst situation of all, since she really is the only woman before the man remarries and hence, the resentment would be worse. Plus, it seems like men with an only child daughter treat these girls more like wives than daughters and are often obsessed with them. Not behavior conducive to starting a relationship with a woman.

Of course, I am speaking from my own experiences. I certainly don't envy your situation...

hismineandours's picture

IDK-I've had both. In my case, ss has been far worse-although not sure if that has anything to do with gender but rather just him. Not that my sd was a walk in the park; however, I did at least find things to connect with her on-we went shopping, talked about makeup, hair-did girly things.

Unfreakingreal's picture

So far, SD10 shows signs of the most manipulating. But I've been in her life since she was born, so we do have a nice relationship. I'm on my toes though, I am bracing myself for the teen years, because I know they will be vicious. She does little things that bug me, like sneaking clothes that I buy her to keep at our house into her bag and taking it home. I explain to her that she's not supposed to do that and she apologizes, but I know it's just the beginning.
SS18 is a good boy. I know he gets really annoyed when I rat him out to his dad when he's failing a class or doing something bad, but all in all he too has a good relationship with me. I personally think kids are a lottery. They will test the waters and see how much they can actually get away with. My Skids did PLENTY of testing and each time they'd crash & burn because I refused to be taken down by a snot nosed kid. My DH also had to choose either to be on the same team with me or LOSE me. He has way more to lose than I do and I think he knows that so he chose wisely.
We'll see how things go with SD10. I know she's going to be a handful.

jojo68's picture

Only had two SD...one was great...the one now is not so much. I think it depends on the personality of the child and how the DH and/or BM raise them as to if they are likeable or not.

jojo68's picture

I agree with you...most of the stuff the bugs me the most with FSD would not be present with a SS...like laying all over daddy, holding his hand everywhere you go with him, and you wouldn't get with "poor, pitful, I can't do anything for myself BS"

s-kill me's picture

My SS14 still does all the laying-all-over, 50 hugs a day, hand-holding, pretends to be incapable of anything without his dad, bullshit.  I think it depends on if the kid is independent- boy or girl.  My SS14 is co-dependent to the max.  We have a good relationship.  Him and DH have a good relationship.  But unquestionably, his mommy is his very best friend.  (And he is hers.  Gross).

starfish's picture

very tough call ~ both ss & sd make my life miserable, but if i had the choice to make one disappear forever it would have to be sd. granted ss pisses me the fuck off nonstop, but sd does too and is compiled with her drama and mil, sil, bm, bm's parents drama, too... when it is just dh, ss & me it is 90% smooth sailing... you add sd to the mix and everything goes to shit.

Kk27's picture

My 3 grown daughters do not interfere with our lives at all. They do their own thing, call text or come see us when they can. I have 4 grown step sons. The 2nd one is married but is always butting in and offering advice. He was just appalled that I removed a glass covering for a table! He treats my husband like a child and is always offering advice. My 4tg step son has been lying to us about his college attendance for 2+ years. The other brother and his wife said, “tell him you llove him... don’t be angry”... oh really ?!!! My husband hasn’t raised his voice st him and we’ve been trying to get him help as he admitted he is addicted to alcohol. They but in to everything we are doing, such as trying to find a new home. He sends us houses all the time ... it sounds helpful, but then he makes remarks as to why we don’t like this and that property. His wife is picky about her dishes and doesn’t want you to help load or unload the dishwasher! She doesn’t like you to help fold clothes either! I give up!