What if they went to live at BM's
When my skids get on my nerves, I often think of what life would be like if they lived full time with BM instead of with us.
I would have a clean and tidy house
I would have peace and quiet when I got in from work
I wouldn't have to share my satellite TV with them
I would be able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without them nagging for some
I wouldn't have to put up with whining, pestering and attention seeking
I wouldn't have to put up with fighting, tale telling and snivelling
I wouldn't have to put up with SS7's annoying habit of constantly clinging to DH and acting like a toddler
DH would not be as stressed and exhausted by having to deal with all their irritating behaviour
DH would be able to get a job instead of staying at home and could contribute more financially
We would have more freedom to come and go together as we please - no kids bedtimes/mealtimes/school run times ruling our lives
We would be able to have a better social life
BUT on the other hand, if they lived with BM
She hasn't a clue about parenting and they would change from being merely irritating to being the brats from hell
Visits to us would be a nightmare as their behaviour would be unbearable
She would mess with their heads and turn them against us
Their school grades would fall and they'd probably end up on drugs, in jail or in the gutter
She would be difficult about visits just to be spiteful and cause trouble
She would constantly demand money and use emotional blackmail on gullible DH, so if he did have a job I'd never see his earnings as he'd give it all to her and the kids
If DH was working, he'd use all his available holidays for kids visits, which would mean no more couple holidays for the two of us (at least we get short breaks and weekends away just now while they're visiting BM)
DH would probably become one of these guilty daddies that I'm always reading about on here
The kids would want our dog to go and live with them - that would never happen if I had my way!
So when they're really getting on my nerves, I try to remind myself that while I wouldn't have chosen to take on 3 skids, I am with the man I love and it was a price worth paying to be with him. For a long time, the idea of them going to live with BM would have been the answer to my prayers but now thinking about it, I reckon things could actually be a lot worse if that happened. BM is a control freak who has very little power as she doesn't have custody of the kids, and she's learned that shouting and stamping her feet doesn't get her what she wants. If they went to live with her she'd have all the power and would use the kids as weapons to control DH, and I'd rather put up with his annoying kids any day than have him bowing and scraping to a nasty, controlling ex wife who doesn't need to be be in our lives, other than to provide a baby sitting service so we can have our free time.
- sasha101's blog
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Comments
OMG!! pregnant? Im so hoping
:jawdrop: OMG!! pregnant?
Im so hoping this does not happen to us! My SD12 just went to go live with BM this past school year and
honestly Bm dresses her like a little prostitute!yuck! BM is no good person for her to look up to.
BM dresses like a prostitute herself and parties all the time leaves SD12 home alone...rather than
want her here with her dad...ugh! so annoying! :sick:
I Wish..... After having MY
I Wish.....
After having MY Hell 24/7/365 for the past 10 years...It would be a dream come true if her rotten little butt went to live with her BM!! BM hasn't had anything to do with MY HELL since she was 2 and has never had to pay a cent in child support...BM is on SSI for being a mental case and an alcoholic and was always going from one drug rehab to another or living in this car or that car....Sad indeed..
BUT......Not my fault, my problem, or my penance to pay either...
I think it would do My Hell some good to go live with her mother from homeless shelter to homeless shelter and car to car so she can see how bad she really has it at our home and how she would be existing if it were not for ME...
It happened to us, too. I
It happened to us, too. I wished for it too hard.
The "other-hand" list has been much more difficult for us to live with & I really regret wishing to have it this way. Now, I understand that my wishing for it isn't what made it happen, but to think I spent so much time complaining & hating life with them makes me sad. We did have issues in our home that needed to be fixed, but it wouldn've been much easier to fix them with the kids in our home than it will be for us to fix them after BM has had them for 6-8 years (or more). The alienation has been terrible. Their grades have fallen & they lack any care about it, which means that by the time they come back around(IF they do) we'll have mentally broken crippled adults to try to fix.
DH struggles with depression because even after all of the breaks he's cut BM so she could rebuild her relationships with her kids, he's nearly non-existent in the minds of his children. That has been one of the hardest things for us to deal with.
If I could change one thing in my life, that would be it.
We've had one bail on us to
We've had one bail on us to go live with BM. No discussion or anything, she just quit coming home every other Monday with her brother. She had to follow a minimal set of rules at our house, non at BM's. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, but my SO was bummed about it. I think he may have blamed me initially, because if it weren't for me he'd probably not have enforced any rules. Eventually, he was no longer sad that she didn't come home, and grateful like I was. She was 16 when she left, and a complete mess. Drinking, drugs, shoplifting, pregnancy scares, stealing from everyone, the whole nine yards. It's been a huge relief to have her gone.
We can sleep w/o listening for her attempts to sneak out.
We can leave our wallets/phones/iPods on the counter without them being stolen.
Our house is cleaner.
Much less drama.
No screaming/yelling/crying/slamming doors or fighting with her brother.
We can use our phone.
Our phone never rings unless it's for us!
We can go away for the weekend w/o worrying about parties and break-ins at our house.
No more internet monitoring.
No more teenage drama TV!!
No more of her stupid music blaring while she attempts to sing along.
No more taxiing her around.
No more having to call the school to find out if she went.
No more "buy me this, buy me that"
there are pros and cons for
there are pros and cons for both situations but seems like the skids are better with yall but there should be times where u can have u time to stay sane and all that u take on u deserve it!
...............I would at
...............I would at that point wake up, pinch myself and realize I WAS dreaming..... ::sigh:::