Well update.       I had vented about my DD dropping out of High School , however, in driving away from High School after dropping out she decided to give the alternative school a try.  She was successful and has now completed High School and has applied to first a community college to transfer to a Four Year college once the GPA and some prereqs are completed.  My SS has successfully finished a year and half at a job however, he is having trouble with his sister and her boyfriend.  Neither of whom are working very much and definitely not supporting themselves.  They all live with the mother who is afraid of the boyfriend but still allows him to live with her going so far as so renew the lease with them living in the house.    So SS called us about two months ago complaining that the sister and boyfriend were demanding that he clean his cat litter box everytime the cat used it, they wanted him to keep his cat in his room at all times so that his cat would not infect their cat. Then he decided to have the cat live with us, he arrived with said cat that was infected with fleas.   We had to leave it in the garage for a couple of days and delice it.    Cat is still living with us, is considered his cat however we pay for its food and litter.  We do have two cats of our own so I guess its not a big deal.     The boyfriend has a car that is sitting in the driveway not working and has been at least for most of the time they have lived in this house.    While SS seems to be on the track of being sucessful it did take some time to get there which is a good thing. I actually thought for awhile he may never get there.    But SD, well that is a interesting situation.   Both of these kids were told its not your fault, those others are jealous of you etc.    SD has held no job for more than six months, often leaving because she is not treated right.  She left the job she had here because she was in danger of being fired for being part of a group that was engaged in bullying.    But they were jealous of her beauty and ability to do her job, thus they were picking on her but she was hanging out with them, going to parties and even was sleeping with one of the boys in the group.  The next job she had was after she moved in with her mother.  She was working at a Whole Foods, however she left because they were also jealous of how well she worked and the other workers couldn't handle it and were bullying her.  Then she went to school to become a EMT and was at the top of her class, however did not pass the class and couldn't become a EMT, this was legititimate EMT school however, it was a for profit school and needless to say the other class members were jealous of her.     So then she decided to go to school for Criminalogy , however it was too hard and she quit.  She decided to become a RBT and work with those with special needs, however when she was asked to assist a client in learning how to do a task, she quit because it wasn't it her job and that is gross and her dad can't believe they asked her to do that.  Um you're a behavior therapist working with a autistic female who needs to learn how to change her own pad, that is your job.  Then she went to work with at a early educaiton school working with special needs kids and her job was compared to mine.  She was an assistant and I'm a certified special education teacher, we are not the same.  Anyway she left that job because the parents were too demanding and she was once again asked to do her job but they were jealous of her.   Do we sense a theme.    Anyhow she went to work at another retail store but left because her supervisor called her out and that was bullying so she left.  Then she was going to work with her uncle doing taxes and eventually take over the business she just had to take a few classes first.   She's not working with him and no classes are being taken.    The boyfriend works occasionally with instacart using her car to pick up the orders and deliver them.   Everytime SS calls and complains all I can think about is I endured you for four plus years and you acted this way  but I was the adult and I was the problem when I complained.    Part of me feels like this is Karma and I wasn't totally crazy about how you and your sister were, SS seems to have grown up maybe someday SD will.    I know my DH misses his son, however, vent here.   I was going downtown to pick up a few things , I was ok going by myself but DH asked if I wanted company , since we had just both worked all day I thought why not come on along.  Before we left the driveway SS had called and talked with dad the whole hour and half we were in town.  Needless to say , my DH said he was sorry but I'm not sure I'll take him to town after with me .