Thank you everyone for your stories.
Knowing that I am not alone in despising my SS's has been a bright light in a very dark day.

This is my story and it is a great weight off my shoulders to be able to tell it without judgement.

I have one SS20 who at least does not live with us. I call him the Oxygen Thief. University drop out, works graveyard shift a couple of nights a week at a BP servo (after 8 months of doing nothing) and plays video games the rest of his life. He doesn't call or visit (unless he wants something) but I get upset for DH because he is so disrespectful.

Other SS16 lives with us Monday - Thursday and some weekends and half the holidays. UNLESS of course the BM (AKA CuntAnge) changes her mind.
He is a lazy, immature, manipulative, underachieving, lying, thief and I hate it when he is here! DH changes into the doting dad and it's like I am invisible!

He has been at BMs for the last wonderful, blissful 3 weeks but is now with us for the next 2. (school holidays down under).

I have been forbidden to say anything negative to the little darling as "he shouldn't have to hear negative things from when he arrives" even though he again failed to return stolen items that he took more that 5 months ago AND ditched his father to stay with a friend over Easter, AND he didn't come when he was supposed to and didn't bother to let us know until 5pm that day.

I hate that my beautiful home and wonderful DH disappear when he arrives. DH focuses all his attention on the SS and barely even bothers to engage with me (until bed time of course).
This visit he is in suck-up mode. Because he chose not to come for 3 weeks (yay) he is now sucking up to his father. Being overly helpful (but needy - show me how dad, even though he has mowed the lawn before) and sickeningly sweet. I know it's all fake because he has done it soooo many times before. Next visit he will be moody, sullen and lazy (his true and much more common self).
He invades MY home, gets in the way, stinks up the bathroom and generally disrupts our very pleasant life. I REALLY hate it when he tries to take over MY animals like they are his. MY dogs, MY cat, MY chickens and MY horse. Stay away from them! They are not yours. He actually physically forces himself between me and DH so we can't have any together time.

I turn into an angry, jittery, reactive, hell-monster when he is here because I just hate the invasion into my personal space. DH and I have a fantastic life together and we never argue except when he is there or the BM interferes. I just wish he would live with her permanently and leave us in peace.

Finding this site has been a god send to know that there are sooo many of you feeling and experiencing what I am! Such a relief to find a space to vent and rage and not have my poor girlfriends subjected to my constant whinging about the little shit.