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CHILD SUPPORT WHEN YOU HAVE A VAGINA???

Rosedeer1's picture

Well my DH and I went to his lawyer yesterday and if you do not already know it has taken 3 years but my DH has placement of his son and BM sees him wed. and EOW, before that it was split placement and split custody, SS would go back and forth every 3 days, but after the 9th childcare move and BM telling her son he hates me and he would come to our house and cry that his mom hates me, we finally won placement!!! However, when my SS went back and forth equal time my DH had to pay 150 a week in CS now that we have placement BM does not feel she should pay because we make more money that her, and she says CS is that give the child the life he would have had if the parents did not seperate, which she is correct but it is also for the NCP to take care of the child that they had. You should not be able to have a child and then just not pay your 17% because the CP makes more money!!!! My DH's lawyer said she should have to pay 17% unless she can show that she has SS a lot of time, more than the court order, and or if she can show how her having him takes a financial burden off DH. BM said she has child health plus still and she had no idea that her son was on my insurance, which is a lie, my DH gave her a insurance card and child health plus was only suppose to be until one of the parents could afford health insurance, my DH's work does not offer it so when we got married I did the family plan as to the first set of support paper say, they say when it becomes affordable then which ever parent should get it, as to not stay on child health plus which is a welfare program and if for those whom really need it. Then she tried to say she bought a winter coat and boots which he wore all winter long, well so did we and itn't that natural to do as a parent, we just let SS choose the boots or coat he wanted to wear that day, we do not make a big deal out of who bought it, then she also goes on how she supplied his school supplies, well she signed him up for preschool without letting my DH know and this is another reason why we won placement because when you have split you must communicate what you are doing, so she provided his pillow and blanket and backpack for school, which once we found out he was going we also did the same. I can not believe she thinks this will hold up in court, she does have insurance through work and could have put her son on it, but told my DH it would cost her 30 more a month than just keeping him on child health plus. Also if you look at her intake and out going money she has it that she spends 320 more a month than she shows coming in, so what is she also -320 in the hole every month, mind you once she got 600 of month in CS from DH she bought a new car and clothes and tatoos and whatever for herself, goes out all the time, but now crying the blues and she just bought NASCAR ticket too. SO I will let all of you know what happens next week in court my DHs lawyer said at the firt apperance he is going to ask for 17% of her income now which is about 80 a week until the court date which he feels will be somtime in August. I hope she has to pay CS we had to and he is her son!!! But I am just happy to have our 600 back in our account again after 2 years of paying. But the best part is having placement of my SS, OH yea the vagina comment, DHs lawyer said she should have to pay but you never know what happens in court he said,"its like if you have a vagina you never have to pay CS", then he said sorry to me, I laughed it is much harder for a father to go through this than a mom, that is just the way our society is right now, but it shouldnt be, it should not be about sex, it should be about whom the better parent it, so hopefully she will have to pay us 80 a week and then I can go out and buy a new car!!!!!

Comments

BridgingTheGap's picture

All these BM's cry for thousands of dollars in CS and demand extra on top of all that but when its their turn to fork over less than 100 dollars, they freak out! If our system wasn't as screwed up as it is, maybe more fathers would have custody of their kids and more BM's would have to give the kind of CS that most dad's do. These BM's see their kid as a meal ticket. Let's see how many women 'accidently' get pregnant if things are ever at the point where they would have to pay 800 a month to the father of their kid.

WowjustWow's picture

I have always had issue with CS and BM's. I think CS should be based on something more reasonable. If DH didn't work, he would still have to pay CS. BM hasn't worked for at least 4 years, but she'll never have to because no matter how much we have the kids, DH will always have to pay. It's stupid and unfair. The courts really need to get with the times and see that just because your a woman, doesn't mean you are the better parent or deserve different treatment.

Odd, how it is women who feel this way, huh?

trophySmom's picture

I agree that our system is completely screwed up! My DH and I have 50/50 joint custody of the SD's(2) and for about 3 years after their divorce we were paying close to 900 a month- 900 a month for two kids who were with us 15 days or more out of every month!

Plus we were required to pay 70% of medical and extra expenses!

How in the world can any judge justify to himself/herself that a BM needs 900 dollars to support the kids for two weeks out of the month????? BIZARRE!!!

...And my husband didn't make nearly enough money for that number to be fair, we were struggling to pay our mortgage and feed the kids for the time that they were with us and did BM care that her D's were suffering at Dads house two weeks out of every month...NO! She was out buying new furniture and clothes!

Thankfully we went back to court a few years ago and the support was lowered to a more reasonable number, my DH and I still think it's too high but it's much better than it was, but now she is required by the court to pay us $63 bucks a month for her 30% of the girls insurance and every month my DH has to text several times before she'll give up that money...and 8 months ago when my husband started a new job with better cheaper insurance we told her she would only have to pay $45 a month and it's still an issue every month
....my husband was paying you 900 dollars every month for three years and you have a problem letting go of 45 bucks a month for your kids insurance.....ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I personally feel if it's 50/50 custody there should be no child support exchanged. You split all the childrens costs right down the middle and you support them yourself when they are with you.....aren't both parents capable of getting off their asses and working???

And what pisses me off the most is that I am extremely close to both of my SD's, they are 11 and 13 and at this age where they are getting closer and closer to adulthood I hate to see their BM doing them such a disservice by showing them that they should depend on a man to support them...I have always told them that the most important thing to do is be independent so that no matter what happens in your relationships you know you can financially support yourself..........I wish more BM's would ascribe to this way of thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunflower's picture

It is so annoying that these women get away with this!! I am all for equality (true equality) that means if your ex has the kids more than you fork it over. My H used to pay his Ex 190$ wkly (that paid for ex wifes clothes kids got donated clothes).Then the custoday changed and we went back to court.My H's Ex was ordered in court to pay 30$ a week.She cried and said she couldnt afford it (she was wearing CK suit at the time).DO you know that judge said ok well then you can pay 15$ a week. :O I was dumbstruck. My H at the time was so disgusted he told her to keep her money he just wanted his kids. I am a little bummed I always wanted to see her fork over money to my H. The look on her face would have been the best payment. Oh well... I hope that you do better than we did.

tryingtokeepthesanity's picture

My DH has a real good case and women are very naive to think that just because they have a womb they will automatically win the case.

Even thought GAL seems to be on her side......the GAL seems to believe every thing that she told her.

I have done the documentation since I met my DH and found something interesting.

DH got a copy of a letter from the GAL stating that DH was unable to meet in a conference before the deposition because of work. DH got the GAL bill and on that same day that he was "suppose to have a conference" with the bitch and the GAL....the bitch saw her anyway to discuss a settlement she would agree with.

I was looking at the documentation and this same day DH youngest son was sick.(this is the one she has full time) DH called bitch's cell and work phone. NEVER a return call on how their son was. DH called her at work in the afternoon and she agreed that their son could spend the night again. (DH has him on Tues every week) Ok....I am sure a good lawyer can make her into uncaring mother...and also that my DH gave up his responsibilities of work to take care of him and there was not even a call from her...but she did manage to see the GAL.

What do you think?