riekate's Blog
Sort of O/T but Step Related
I have a lot of close friends with kids and none of them are in a step-situation and I made a passing remark about looking forward to going out for drinks tonight because I need a kid break and one of my friends remarked "ha kid break!!! You get one every other weekend." I know that non step families don't ever get a break but they wouldn't understand if I said parenting a step-kid is not the same. I know they need breaks from their kids, but I think steps tend to need more breaks.
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There's No "Half" In "Family" Article
Touching Article from Huffington Post
There's No "Half" In "Family"
by Eric Payne
I recently happened upon some paperwork from my son's high school. It's now going on two-years-old, back when he was in the 9th grade, back when my wife and I were knee-deep planning out some academic strategies for him. It listed both his academic and family history. The academic stuff I was accustomed to. But seeing my family in black and white letters (other than the ones I blog) threw me for a loop. The descriptions of us were clinical, anesthetized, devoid of love.
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Biting my tongue
I try really hard to bite my tongue and not react to anything my Skids biodad says or does to keep the situation amblicable. I try to put myself in his shoes but sometimes it gets so frustrating. Yesterday I took the boys SS4 and SS5 to have dinner with their dad. He has 50% custody but due to his choice only has them about 4 nights a month and an occasional dinner. I just feel like it is non-stop criticism from him about little things with the kids.
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Venting about communication.
So I am with the birth mom, we are a mom/step mom house. My SS4 and SS5 don't see their dad a lot right now because he works out of town but they are going away for the weekend with their dad. We all have a pretty good relationship, that has taken some work to get to. One of the things that biodad gets mad about is that my partner over-parents the kids and don't trust him be the parent when they are with him. (This is true and she has been trying to work on it, because he is a good father, just parents a little differently then my partner does.)
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Sad for Skids... annoyed for self. Frustrated with BF
My SO and her ex have a 50/50 custody arrangement, the BF seems to be taking less and less of an intrest in the kids, granted he has been working out of town and not always home on the weekends. This weekend he is in town and my SO had talked with him about bringing the kids to him Friday (tonight) and getting them back Sunday afternoon. The boys, SS4 and SS5, were so excited about seeing Daddy, it had been about 20 days since they had seen him. I know they miss him and love him and they are little boys and they need their dad.
Changes in custody arrangements making me nervous.
So far my being a step parent (not offical but that is how I feel) to my SS4 and SS5 have been pretty smooth. They are very well behaved for the most part and I have become part of the family. For the past year we have the boys Sunday from at 3 until Friday at 6, my SO works on weekends so I have the weekends days all to myself and the weekend nights to spend time with my partner. Well now the BF is going to be working out of time for a couple of monthes, I understand this and it is nessicary for him to make money and maybe start paying child support (another issue).
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Changing Relationship with Step-Parent after becoming Step-Parent
I have been wondering if anyone's feeling about their own step-parent changed after they became a step-parent. My mom remarried when I was 12 after my BF had passed away 6 years prior, she and my step-father had my sister. I remember my siblings and I feeling angry about the marriage and forthcoming baby.