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Return2sender's picture

I am 2 yrs into this step parenting thing and I'm noticing some things that I hope someone can give me clarity on . 

 

we have 3 kids 

7 yr old SD

3 yr old SS

1 yr old bio daughter 

 

So we just moved into a new home and the kids have been wanting to sleep with us a lot , and I get it new house they're not comfy&  that's okay 

its a trending  thing even before the move at least 3 nights a week we have one of them ending up in our room 

while my 1 yr old sleeps through the night in her crib ..

but immediately I'm trying to implement respect and routine .
All I want is  support from my partner with my boundaries as a STep mom

He says NOTHING to them about this not one peep 

But our 11 month old daughter ended up in our bed and he complains about it saying She needs to be sleeping in her own crib 

My mind is BLOWN by this , I'm worried that he's less involved with our child and wants her to be more independent than his other kids. Also get this vibe like now that I'm in the picture and the void of his children's mom being gone is filled he gets to catch a break but sorry to all the delusional dads out there who think having a step mom around replaces A biologic  mother .. it doesn't.  he still needs to be working TWICE as hard in tough areas to compensate for choosing this life with me just as I am 

 

 

s

Comments

Sparkl3s's picture

Don't let him pile his responsibilities for his children, on you just bc you are a woman. Men are just as capable of taking care of their children. Especially, if he isn't helping you get a break for rearing your together child. 

SeeYouNever's picture

My SD coslept until she was 10. My husband was quite adamant that our daughter together is to sleep in her own bed. It seems to be a common thing, different standards for different sets of kids. 

These Dads try to prevent their mistakes the second go-round but they never try to correct the mistakes they made with the first batch of kids. 

Has your child together gets older you're going to have to watch to make sure that their expectacion are not so much higher than the step kids that you have a 4 year old who is doing chores and teenagers to sit on their ass and make messes.

Aunt Agatha's picture

Period.  That's your adult space to do adult things.  I've been an SM for almost 10 years and the 3 skids have never once been in my bed.

Its a hill to die in for me.

CLove's picture

SD14 co-slept when he was separated up until about 8. But as soon as I was in the picture she was back in her bed.

Who would want theire kiddos sleeping in the same bed as their kooties?

Read your first blog. Kooties doesnt scare your man one iota.

Thumper's picture

Bet ya BM is telling the her kids---go sleep with dadddddy during visitation.

Here is what you say to dh..DH you wanna sleep with your kids during visitation, GO AHEAD there is a holiday inn with a pool. Either you go to a hotel OR you straighten this out.

OR I will go to the Holiday Inn when they are here with the baby. Either way you are paying for it.

Wink

 

SeeYouNever's picture

Yep bm's definitely do this. SDS mom used to call her at bedtime and ask her where she was going to sleep and if she was scared and then told her that if she scared you can always go to sleep with Daddy.