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Step this over..

Retired now on budget's picture

Submitted by Retired now on ... on Tue, 05/10/2022 - 12:06pm

ALL, literally ALL, my life(mid 60's currently) I've been a Step something or other.  My natural father left when I was 2 and has never been around since.  Mom remarried when I was 9 and that is when I first understood Step designated family mean nothing and have certain expectation applied to them that normal family do not.  I'm a SD, SS, SM, the addopted one, the second one and many more designation describing a second class citizen of traditional family lifestyle. 

You know what, no matter how hard I try to fit in, it is always not what is expected by everyone.  I'm not suppose to have a opinion or expectations of my own and as long as I sit back quietly, everyone is fine with their fake self misinformation, keeping up with Jones and spreading drama to hide their own closets full of skeletons.

Fine, I'll keep quiet.  I'll sit back quietly in the corner watching.  Just don't shove expectations down my throat that everyone else isn't following too.  I'm not taking it any more.  I won't be here any more, this is my day of Reckoning to fill my life and my relationship with my husband with our joy and everyone else who doesn't fit in can go find their own place.  This is mine and I'm in controll here and it doesn't include those parasites anymore.

Sick of Stepparenting being a tolerate what is going on and get use to it in my own house.  Not any more!!!

Comments

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 05/10/2022 - 12:50pm

Disengagement is your best friend.

I work on that daily.

Retired now on budget's picture

Submitted by Retired now on ... on Tue, 05/10/2022 - 12:58pm

Never thought I'd have to "Disengage" from people in life before.  And I'm seeing that it is going to be a challenge.

I've joined the "I work on that Daily" club!!! And from what I've read, I'm really not alone.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 05/10/2022 - 1:10pm

I have SD23 Feral Forger and we are no contact.

SD15 - well she is kind and respectful but plays both houses against each other.

Ive had to disengage to keep the peace and unfortunately have also started disengaging from my husband as well.

PetSpoiler's picture

Submitted by PetSpoiler on Tue, 05/10/2022 - 5:10pm

It took me disengaging for my husband to take action.  I think he may have subconsciously known what was going on but I had to step back and refuse to have anything to do with his spawn in order for him to really put things together.  SS, aka Lying Ingrate, was never openly rude to me so to be fair, it may have been harder for my husband to see things how they really are, or were.  We don't talk to Lying Ingrate and his wife, She-Devil and haven't for almost three years.  It's been peaceful not dealing with the drama.  I helped raise him and in return I got him lying, claiming he thought of me as his mother.  Pretty words, actions didn't match though.  His loss.  They have a child who has no grandparents.  Her parents and BM are deceased and DH won't speak to them. I'm sure that She-Devil would've taught him to hate us anyway even if we were very present in their lives.  I hope they have a good life.  All I ask is that they stay away.  I enjoy the peace and lower blood pressure.  

Retired now on budget's picture

Submitted by Retired now on ... on Tue, 05/17/2022 - 3:06pm

The games they play with us..  We will be there, but never once showing up..  I'm tired of looking forward to seeing the grandbaby and about the time they are suppose to show, they cancel giving us a lame excuse only to be spending time with her side of the family..  I'm with you,  I hope they have a good life and I hope they stay away..  I'm getting too old for this family drama..