My BF is in the middle of a custody battle in which he wants to use several of BM's character defects against her. I'll tell you the same thing I told him: If you can't prove it, it doesn't matter. The judge hears all this petty crap in these cases all the time. Prove it, or it means nothing.

I will let you know how things go in our case this afternoon. Hubby has a meeting to help determine what the plan is. We have gotten to the stage where all of the therpist involved have stated that there is no abuse and no reason for the child to not be in our home.

We did attempt several years ago to settle out of court allowing the order to state that a therapist could determine when that would take place. DO NOT AGREE TO THIS. We did this to avoid dragging the boys through a court hearing. BM refused to allow BF to pick up ss for sessions, showed the therapist paper work that I was not allowed to be at the sessions (we did not know this for almost 3 months by the time we put it together - the letter was not from the court by Her attorney so the therapist was going off the information that he had from BM without realizing that was not the court order restriciting visits - boy was he upset) BM was to drive ss to sessions and she refused. BM had kept ss out of all activities for over a year even though he had a history while at our home of participating in every activity under the sun. As soon as sessions were set up within two weeks ss was signed up for 5 different programs that lasted up until 6:00pm at night and because ss was not involved in any after school activities the order stated that ss had to be home no later than 7:30pm. Bm knew that now with ss being in activities which he wasnt at the time the order was signed that he was unable with drive time to attend a session and to be home by the time the court order stated she was able to keep him out of therapy for another 3 months until we could get another court date to get things changed. Issues like this were non-stop, any way that she could manipulate an order she has.

Cell phones with taping and video are wonderful for saving your ass, transfer everything to the computer and just backup on a disk. Hate living like this. I would love if we could communicate about the kids and send pics. back and forth but with some people you just can make them get over their past issues.

(I would hate to see how she would be if Hubby and I were the one's having the affair that ended her marrige instead of her being one who choose to screw around with other people. lol)

Stepkate is right. The burden of proof is on the BM. If she can't prove anything, she has no case. Who cares if you're out partying? That's your right. As long as your not getting drunk in front of the skids, she's got nothing.

Does she have any examples of how the environment is 'non-conducive' to SD?

Words to live by

"DENY EVERYTHING, DEMAND PROOF"

It would be nice if it were true that we are "innocent until proven guilty" but from my experience in this system, it's the opposite.

What exactly is she "suing" FOR? She claims to have some sort of "damages" to recover because of the things she alleges? Or is she trying to make it so SD cant come to your house anymore? God I wish my BM would do that! I'd START swearing and partying if I thought it would help!

Obv you've gotten a lawyer and now have to defend yourself, right? Ask the lawyer what you can or need to do?

How freaking ridiculous these family court issues get! My dad yelled and screamed in the house, who cares! Unless there is obvious abuse, it is not illegal to use foul language or drink...I am not saying you do these things, but really these people just go way overboard to "protect" these kids...ie. harrass their ex...they made the decision to have kids w/someone whom now they claim is crazy...they were crazy before, deal with it...I hate ex-witch, but DH chose to have a kid w/a "loose" woman, so yes, preggo girl will now suffer the consequences...geez