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Here we go again... Is there ever any reprieve?

red flags's picture

Submitted by red flags on Sat, 03/03/2012 - 4:31pm

Another day, another BM headache... This time it's over SD9's medical insurance. So, I'm sure I've already mentioned that FDH has 50/50 and still pays $500 a month in child support. BM is ordered to pay for her medical insurance. Additionally, she has claimed her for taxes every year for the last 9 years, when they should be able to switch every other year. So SD's insurance premium went up $100 per month and she wants another $50 from FDH. Sounds like no big deal, except that BM is fucking psycho.

FDH told her "no.". He didn't do it to be a jerk. He didn't do it because we can't swing the extra $50. He did it because he's sick and tired of saying "yes" to everything and still being treated like crap by her. I've nicknamed her "Fuck You, Pay Me," because you can sum up any conversation with her with those 4 words.

So she sends him these nasty texts last night telling him to "do the right thing or she'll drag SD back to family court..." and "maybe if he stopped buying $1000 suits and taking trips he could afford to care about his daughter's health.". It's so fucking ridiculous. She just went on a trip to CA and has flown her 25 year old student boyfriend home several times over the last few months. Yet she feels entitled to tell him how to manage his finances.

I think my biggest problem with her is that she doesn't know her place. She's not the ex-wife. They never married and planned a family together. They dated and when she sensed the relationship was slipping, she pulled the goalie. So she's a baby momma. And from my own law practice, I can honestly say I see tons of women in her position who would kill to have it as good as she bitches about. She knows that we are getting married and planning a family of our own and she constantly uses SD to extort him out of every possible penny. Again, we are dealing with a woman that tries to invoice him for the postage to send the invoice!

I'm not saying ex-wives are any easier to deal with. I'm sure they aren't. But am I wrong in feeling like this crazy bitch has an extra layer of entitlement tacked on? Only upside... I now have a free license to skip any SD activities where she might show up when she's on the war path. Got me out of today's soccer game Wink

Comments

Inneedofgrace's picture

Submitted by Inneedofgrace on Sat, 03/03/2012 - 4:46pm

FUPM definitely has an extra layer of entitlement tacked on! She sounds like a chronic "victim" and possibly a narcissist. Bravo to your DH for drawing boundaries and sticking to them. People like FUPM bring death by 1000 paper cuts if they're allowed to wear you down with their constant requests for hand outs and special treatment. I've learned a lot of helpful information and tools from counselor Lynne Forrest who's worked is rooted in the "Victim Triangle". To learn more, check out this article http://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/

planningMyEscape's picture

Submitted by planningMyEscape on Sat, 03/03/2012 - 5:20pm

I don't think an ex-be it an exwife or exgirlfriend- has ANY entitlement when it comes to HIS money. I don't think if they had been married that it would give her more or less of a right to tell him what to do, now especially. There are some psycho BMs out there, who think the world owes them something. It's total bullshit. She sounds like a crazy one. Good for him for not just giving in (like SO MANY of these dad's do). Sorry you have to put up w/that though.

red flags's picture

Submitted by red flags on Sat, 03/03/2012 - 5:59pm

Amen Ladies! I totally agree. She seems to think that if she berates him long enough she will get her way. Not this time! Gotta say, I'm proud of my man for standing his ground. Not to say that he hasn't caved 1000 times before. He has. But he's finally realizing that all the extra give gets him no where. You can't buy peace from a crazy person. I just hope he sticks to it. Next in her routine will be to try depriving him of custody time. Then she'll attack me. Then she'll tell our colleagues that he's a dead beat. It's like living Groundhog's day with that one. Bore-a-thon!

red flags's picture

Submitted by red flags on Sat, 03/03/2012 - 6:06pm

@Inneedofgrace - Great article! Thanks for the link. Very insightful. She is definitely a chronic victim. She's always painting this "poor me" picture. It's such a joke. That kid is the biggest financial windfall of her life. Not surprising that nearly 10 years after they split and no one else has signed up to marry her crazy ass.

Overstressed's picture

Submitted by Overstressed on Sat, 03/03/2012 - 11:19pm

I know this was only part of what you said but i'm wondering how does this 50/50 crap work for everything pluse cs we pay 1200 a month plus 50% of every little thing

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 03/04/2012 - 1:45am

Wow, just wow.

The funny thing is that my SS's SpermIdiot tried a similar thing about 8 years ago.

He is ordered under the CO to provide insurance for my SS. In the event that he can not he has to pay 50% of the insurance costs for my wife or I to cover our sun under an employer provided policy. When my wife and I married when SS was 1yo the DipShit could not afford insurance so his CS went up by a whopping $15/mo to cover half of the increased insurance costs for SS to be under my policy. You should have seen him whine and cry about that $15/mo. Hell, you should have seen SpermGrandPa whine and cry about that $15/mo since he and SpermGrandMa are the ones that paid every penny of their idiot son's CS obligarion to my son. This was in 1994.

Anyway, in 2003 my wife finally hauled the SpermIdiots worthless ass back to court for an ammendment of of CS. His CS nearly tripled from $133/mo to $380/mo.

Two months later he filed for an ammendment of CS again to have the health insurance element of his CS removed since he now had insurance on my Skid. From birth to age 11 he did not have insurance on my son or the three younger also oowl SpermIdiot spawn by two other mothers.

The fun part of this story is that when the judge saw the motion he laughed in the DipShit's face and ruled that StepDad has carried excellent insurance on the child for nearly the child's entire life, the insurance will not be changed and you will pay half of the cost for StepDad to cover the child under his policy.

This tactic can be plyed by either the CP or the NCP. If your DHs CO does not require him to pay for any insurance cost for your SKid then don't pay an F-in penny. Hold BM accountable for managing her finances in order to care for the SKid. Your DH pays significant CS to participate in the support of his child. BMs idiocy in managing her money is not your DHs problem.

All IMHO of course.