Your bride is stressed and sad. Give the lady a hug. Don’t buy her presents or flowers since she is stressing about money. Instead give her a hug, thank her for her hard work, and remind her that you love her. Some of us handle stress differently. She just needs a hug. Good luck

Stress does crazy things to people... I know when I get stressed I get WAY moodier and more likely to snap at little things. Especially when things seem to be happening that I feel are only going to make it even harder to destress. Finances are one of my sensitive points... When I'm stressing about finances I can get snappy and ANYONE spending money sets me on edge because I'd rather save as much as possible.

Subconciously it could also be that it's the sell of the home she last had SS in. I know she loves her son and probably cherishes all the memories. Even though she's willingly letting go of the home, I'm sure it's hard and is hitting some buttons and leaving her feeling vulnerable! Losing a place where you've made lots of memories is NEVER an easy thing!!!

I agree with MommyT. She definitely needs a hug, and maybe a nice night in. Make dinner for you both, and just relax and watch a movie or play some games. Let her know you care and cherish her. I'd also suggest to let her vent and talk to you about what's going on for her! Just tlaking about issues sometimes does the trick too!

I agree with this ^^^.  Sometimes you are just stressed, and it sounds like she (and you!) have reason to be. The home buying/selling process can be simply overwhelming for some people. My SO works long hours and sometimes it's too much for him, he starts to get easily irritated. She probably just didn't want to deal with one more back-and-forth about the stupid sprinkler, and felt they were being silly over something so small. She wanted to complain about that (but most likely it wasn't just the sprinkler that had her wound up, it was the weight of everything going on), and it seemed like you took the Buyer's side instead of just saying "yes, it's frustrating, but let's just do it and it will all be over soon". 

Her throught process may be a bit skewed because of the stress, her fuse is shorter than normal. Give the woman a hug. And simply listen when she's frustrated.

which is for you to tell her to close her mouth and that you'll decide what's best.  (This is regardless of her being the breadwinner--that doesn't hold much in Chef's book obviously) 

yeah she's worried about the financial scenario.  At least you don't think money grows on trees like Chef does!  And that the "money will always be there."   

I would let her vent and then mirror her by saying that you understand it looks like the buyers are yanking the chain but that you've expressed to the agent that this is the final concession... and if they walk, they walk.

Agreed with the above commenter, she's stressed, and she may have been frustrated that you authorized your agent to accept the new terms without consulting her first (whether or not she would have agreed to it).

I'd suggest just apologizing for not consulting with her first and explain that you felt it was worth the extra money to avoid the headaches that would be caused by not accepting. It stops y'all from having to deal with the repairs, from forcing y'all to try to force the cost on your renters, or from more negotiating, or even a loss of the deal! Overall it seems like you made a good decision, but it may have bothered her that she was not involved.

For shame, you went over to the other team (the buyer) and made their requests more valid than her feelings/opinion on the subject.

My DH does this all the time. Even if it's my opinion, it's wrong and the other party is right. He always defends the other party, regardless of whether the facts show I'm right or I'm just stating an feeling/opinion and there is no right/wrong with an feeling/opinion.

If you want to salvage the situation, apologize that you didn't consider all the things being asked, and you can see how it feels like the buyers just keep asking for more. You aren't saying you agree, but you are saying you can see how it could feel that way. You can validate her feelings/opinion without agreeing with them.

It may have nothing to do with any of the stressors in your lives at the moment.  I am the child of a real estate lawyer, and I've listened to half of countless phone conversations about home closings.  It seems that in almost every transaction one party complains that the other is nickel and diming them.  Sometimes it's the buyer, sometimes it's the seller.  Sometimes it's a male, sometimes it's a female.  It's the nature of the beast.  

Bring home a bottle of wine? kidding...Rags.

Selling or buying a home is very stressful.

I understand she feels being hosed little by little the buyers.  I might feel the same especially with a 500 repair 'gift they agreed to'. Hopefully the mortgage company doesnt ditch that idea at the 12hour. It happened to use years ago. Ours was 2k allowance.

As noted above just tell her you understand blah blah blahhhh...make her feel validated..then give her a huge glass of wine

IF the buyers do it again.welllll....they will nit pick for larger and larger sums of money.

Sounds like she may be perimenopause or menopausal.  Isn't she about that age?  I am older (closer to your parents' ages) but I saw many of my friends go thru this.  I was lucky and didn't have many symptoms.  But most of my friends said they sometimes thought they were going crazy.

LOL - my husband was the one "nickel and diming" the seller of our house. I was a little PO'd at him because he just went ahead and did it - I didn't want to risk losing the house and the sellers were pushed to the limit on our last ask (a legit fix).  So it was my concern, not the situation, that made me anxious.

We talked about it, and our realtor let us know that the sellers had done all they could (they went broke essentially and were trying to get rid of the house fast) so the realtor agreed to hire their own repair people to do some things for us that needed to be done to seal the sale.

So keep communication going, sounds like it's almost done!

Simply put money does strange things to people.

Rags... Has anyone ever told you you're a fantastic husband? :-) 

The way you speak of your wife never ceases to awe me. You speak so highly and kindly of her. You took on her child as your own. You do something so many men DON'T do... which is trying to figure out what's wrong so you can take the right course of action to fix it. Good on you for taking her feelings seriously and caring so much. 

Stress, in relation to finances in particular, can really weigh on a woman. Be there to help her relax. Make dinner, handle a lot of the cleaning, run her a bath now and then, and everything will be fine. 

and what appears to be nagging buyers it just set her off... the buyers had legitimate concerns regarding minir repairs but your wife may just think well for a 300K home, $700 in repairs being done plus the $200 cash to them is nitpicking... 

if you buy a home you know there are repairs that need to happen and a budget is set aside to address this. Can’t remember the percentage amount. Instead of demanding cash money etc they could have just asked to lower the asking price slightly....

when your wife has calmed down a little just ask her “i know you’ve been busy and stressed lately and you aren’t happy with the buyers what may appear as nitpicking or nagging, but you genuinely felt they were reasonable things to do and this is the last thing they demanded and then you close- done deal” just let her know you don’t want her feeling like you don’t care about her but you also want this house sold asap so at least you both have that financial security

Buying/selling property is always stressful. And it's costly. If you're "thrifty" like me, it's impossible for it to be anything other than a miserable experience -- all you see is money flying out the window for "services" and "transfers" and such, and about halfway through the process, you begin to feel it all add up and suddenly you're sure you've been taken and...it's just stressful. Add to that your job situation and I think she's probably right where she should be mood wise!

The way your phone call followed by her rant went down is exactly how it would have gone down between my husband and me. It's not that the $200 was a dumb idea or anything other than a smart, practical way to progress the deal, but by this point in a sale, I am always totally irritated because I've already handed out so much money, and now I have to negotiate away more just to make sure the deal goes through...it's the worst timing for we anxious types to have to negotiate! And the whole time you're still waiting for the whole deal to fall through for some unrelated reason.

Just chalk this up to the cost of doing business. I bet she'll be fine as soon as this mess is through.

I think it's the "long line of obvious"... All of those things are incredibly stressful.  Sometimes we lash out about the small stuff when it's really other bigger stuff that shortened our fuse.  Home sales are stressful.

I understand just accepting the $200 but in her eyes.. they got extra because you know it would only cost 135.  AND.. in reality.. they could probably fix the issue themselves for a fraction of that.. the same with their "list of repairs".  Sometimes these transactions feel like a death of a thousand cuts.

I might agree with her that they are being a bit petty.. but sigh.. and say.. in the long run.. $200.. to just get the deal done is a small price to pay.. shrug.