I do try to not concentrate on the little things, there are sooooo many of them. And I do wish there was somthing I could do to change the relationship with her but she is totally closed off from me. She won't look at me, speak to me, stay in the same room with me, like the same drink I like, color I like, tv show I like, you get the idea lol.

I've attempted to take her shopping and she agreed to go but she didn't speak the entire time, disappeared the minute we hit the store doors and showed back up with stuff for me to buy when it was time to leave. Not much bonding going on there.

I truely am at a loss as to how to reach her. I spoke to DH about it today and he doesnt know either. He really has his head in the sand when it comes to her behavior. He wants to explain it all away by "she is shy, she doesn't know how to act, it's just the way BM is raising her" None of which holds up for me.

I really couldn't say. Often BM likes to send gifts along as if they are from SD when really they are from her. It seldom bothers me, I truely understand how kids like to do something "from them". when my kids want to do it I encourage them to make it personal, maybe make a card or a small token of their thought. With SD it's always a full blown gift as if she is an adult.

And truely I think the gift thing is nothing and wouldn't even be a blip on my radar if it wasn't for all the other things.

After a weekend of all the "small stuff" it adds up to a BIG issue.

I am of the same old school parenting plan. It scares me to think how the kids of today will behave as adults. My DH says the agrees however I have never seen it in action so I think it's just words.

I know you are right, I have started doing just that. I act as cool as possible and try to never let her know I am bothered by it.

Just this weekend, we had a nice dinner for DH for father's day. She sat looking at her bowl of salad and needed salad dressing but wouldn't ask me to pass it to her - it was on my end of the table. I got up from the table to do something and she took the opportunity to grab it. then she sat with potatoes and nothing else on her plate refusing to ask me to pass or be served the meat. I just kept eating as if I didn't notice. I knew DH saw it happening and he said nothing.

I asked him about it today. He said he saw it and was furious. He said nothing because he knew if he did he would blow up at her and that wouldn't help. I explained to him that saying nothing was allowing her to be that way but he just is never sure how to handle it. You know and still not hurt anyones' feelings. You wouldnt' want the child to know they were wrong or anything.