How should I handle this?
Ok, so I picked up SD's phone this weekend and read some texts she had sent to a friend saying that at night she punches DD when she's sleeping. They share a room and choose to share the queen size bed (both also have a twin loft bed in the room). She has a history of being mean to DD. She's quite jealous of her for many reasons. But she also goes back and forth treating her well, depending on what she wants out of it.
I'm not sure how to handle it. Do I ignore it, since I was snooping anyways? I'm leaning toward just letting it go and storing it away for later. But it's making me very angry.
Do I say something to DH? He's not likely to care anyways.
Can I say something to my DD to bring the subject up without saying I know it's been happening? She's never said anything is up and it's not like her to keep quiet.
I am so tired of the underhanded things she does. I just wish she would show her true colors and be done with it. I dont' like the two faced personailit that she's learned to well from BM. Any tactics to deal well with people like that??
- PrincessFiona's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Get a nanny camera and tape
Get a nanny camera and tape them at night to see what is happening. If you accuse without evidence skid will just deny it and you won't be believed.
^^^Agree^^^^ don't tell
^^^Agree^^^^ don't tell anyone just get a small nannycam and put it in there room check it once a week just to make sure your kid is ok. I wouldn't ignore it though this is your child who is potentially getting hurt. If something is going on show the tape to your DH, if not then take it down after a month and no one needs to know you ever did it.
I have asked DH to not leave
I have asked DH to not leave me alone with SD, that if she is there he is there too. But that still leave night time. We are moving in the near future (as soon as our house sells). One of my goals for the new house is that the girls have separate rooms.
SD is becoming more and more a 'mean' girl. Not necessarily psychotic mean but cruel, mean hearted, bully type behavior. I have heard her many many times express sympathy toward animals even at the expense of a human life. Like she has said, "oh, i'd rather the man died than the dog, poor dog" while watching a sad movie. She's made many comments like this that say she doesn't have much compassion for humans.
I definately will think about a nanny cam. I need real evidence. I wish I could say something to her to let her know I was on to her. I'm not sure it would make her stop.
I wouldn't let her have a
I wouldn't let her have a bedroom. I'm serious. Her ass would be sleeping on the couch. Violence is one thing that I will not tolerate .. EVER.
DD is not a baby, she's 12.
DD is not a baby, she's 12. And I can't force counseling on anyone, I've done my best to encourage it but no one is interested therefore I have disengaged from her so I don't have to deal with it.
But I agree I do need to protect my DD, she does not deserve to deal with it.
13 but the size difference is
13 but the size difference is major. DD is tiny (like a 10 yo) and SD is adult size.
I am in favor of the nanny
I am in favor of the nanny cam for a while, most definately! Tell DH you think one of the girls is having nightmares as you hear noises during the night...you want to be sure they are OK.
I'd act like nothing was wrong, set up the cam and check it WITH DH every time you 'hear something'. Check DD for bruises and ask her if she'd had any bad dreams. DD may very well be afraid of SD and reluctant to tell you anything. Gently tell her that you think SD might be having nightmares and lashing out in her sleep, ask if she's OK and assure her that if there's something going on you will deal with it correctly. If SD is having these ostensible 'nightmares' that make her lash out then you could make them sleep separately, still keep the nanny cam in the room. Then if the 'nightmares' turn into sleepwalking...you have a problem that needs to be addressed. DH cannot deny the evidence, at minimum counselling for SD to help her with her 'sleep problems'??
that's a good way to bring it
that's a good way to bring it up even to DH. I've been hearing what sounds like 'nightmares'. And it's a good way to open a conversation with DD without unnecessarily accusing anyone. I'm going to use that.
What a little bitch! OMG! I'd
What a little bitch! OMG! I'd go in at night and pinch the shit out of her and see how she likes it!!! I'm pissed and this isn't even happening to me!!!
How old is SD? I guess I’m in
How old is SD? I guess I’m in the minority and think the nanny cam is extreme. Why can’t you just confront her, or have DH confront her (he can say HE read the text). If she is underage, then you and DH have every right to read her texts, emails, etc. at random. I would certainly confront her about it. However, I would talk to DD first and see if she has any input. There’s a small chance that SD is lying to show off to her friends.
I guess I'm with you and why
I guess I'm with you and why I'm not sure how to handle it. I think there's a possibility that she might be playing it up for her friend. And even if DH read it (which he won't) he would never confront her. So it would just be another stab of me trying to get poor innocent SD in trouble.
The nanny cam seems a bit much especially when I think about video taping young girls in their bedroom and/or while sleeping. That just seems wrong and creepy to me and I'm afraid it would open me up to complaints and problems I don't need no matter what my intentions were.
Actually I would confront!
Actually I would confront! Being that the children in this instance is under the age of 16 you have every right to check cell phones/computers etc.... IMO with that being said...I would let her know what you discovered in front of husband and handle it accordingly.
Unfortunately, it sounds like
Unfortunately, it sounds like you have some things to work on with DH before you can ever hope of gaining any ground with SD. Sorry, that just sucks that he won’t back you up.
Holy cow! I would have NO
Holy cow! I would have NO problem confronting her! If I already know DH won't care about this situation, then I will not hesitate to confront her and get this straightened out.
OMG!!! I would have flipped
OMG!!! I would have flipped out!
As far as being left alone with your SD, I would LOVE it! I would beat the living shit out of her, let her know that if she ever so much as BREATHED on my child again I would end her life, and then tell DH she attacked me and DD, so I had to protect us. It wouldnt be a huge leap from the truth.
OMG... again! I can't even imagine if someone, ANYONE, was punching my baby. Yes, and ass whipping would ensue. FUCK that...
Oh, and THEN I would install
Oh, and THEN I would install a nanny cam. LMAO!!!!
These skids all seem to be
These skids all seem to be jumbo sized for their ages. Can you give a lecture to SD about "KARMA" and then, meet up with her wearing a disguise in a dark alley somewhere?? :evil:
Seriously you need to get this on tape then report it to the authorities; you'll probably have to go around DH, no doubt, to press charges.