I think we have reached our lowest point. Ss stopped eating completely since last Sunday when we met him. And since Wednesday has stopped drinking water. So they had to hospitalize him. My Dh left last night to be there. They are hydrating him themselves and using a nasogastric feeding tube to start getting calories into him. At one point he tried pulling the tube out so he is restrained now.

My Dh called an hour ago in tears. He was giving me updates. He sounded hopeless. I feel like giving up. I don't know what else to do. They want to stop the anti-depressants because its probably reducing his appetite. But he is purposely not eating too. Those drugs have kept him semi-functional emotionally all these years.

They want to keep him on the feeding tube for a few days and see if he will start eating on his own. Ss hasn't spoken at all. Of course with the tube it might be uncomfortable.

We are trying so much but it feels like Ss will let himself die just to dpite us. How can we even work with that? I just feel numb. I want to be done.