Last night DH took the moving van to get the last of the things to our new house leaving SD and I in the new house with some friends setting things up. I was putting some plates away and felt a sharp pain shoot through my stomach that caused me to jerk and drop a plate. SD14 came charging into the kitchen asking me if I was ok. She told me she would clean up the broken clay pieces and I should go lay down. She sent someone in to check on me and she even unpacked my bedding and helped my grandmother make the bed for me. I overheard my grandmother telling her it’s nice the way she is taking care of me and she said “Well I care about my little sister in there". These moments are always fleeting where I think for second things could change.

But I just have this feeling that she does care and doesn't want to admit it. She could have went back to live with BM if she really wanted to and DH would have folded if he felt she would be happier there. But she is still here. I think she really wants to be here when her sister arrives and she is more excited and cares more than she lets on. I could be wrong and I'm still going to disengage I know by now not to get my hopes up. I can't help but wonder would she still have come to my aid if I wasn't pregnant. Is there a spot deep in her heart that is reserved for me? I don't know.