Come again??
Okay, so the SK's are officially here this weekend. I'm cool with it - we've been making small talk over the course of the evening, made some pretty good grub and dessert, etc. My BD2 likes to take car rides to go to sleep, so me and kids went for her nightly ride. We must've driven for an hour but the conversations that came out of it, I'm saying Say WHat? Come again?? I can't believe my ears!
If you have followed some of my posts, you'll remember my issue/concern with SD15's involvement with XSF. Well, during our ride, we were talking about deer and how she had seen one in WV. Well, WV is a bit of a ride from here and not somewhere her BM would typically go, so she goes on to say that she and XSF went to WV to see her X-step-sister, who just started going to college there. Just SD and XSF on this trip, and they didn't get home until midnight. So after that shocker, she then says that XSF thinks it would be a good idea for SD to spend the weekend with XSS AT SCHOOL!! SAY WHAT?! Again, SD is 15, getting ready to turn 16. IMO she has NO business being there, I don't care who she's with, unless of course it's with us or with BM. But with XSF? no way.
Worst part about this is that DH was not there, so it was just me. I've already told DH about this and he agrees with my thoughts on this, but unless she says something to him about it, anything that comes out of this will be coming directly from me. My and SD's relationship is already a little tempermental - i don't want her to feel betrayed by me telling him but at the same time, he is her BD and has a right to know what is going on.
I've already told him if she does go and spend the night in WV w/ XSS and BM doesn't notify him of this, she will be getting a letter warning her of her contempt of the CO. But that won't change anything.
Just feeling really frustrated right now. What would you do?
- pastepmomof3's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Hmmm - I completely
Hmmm - I completely understand not wanting to betray her trust - relationship temperamental or not, I experience this myself. Is it possible to raise the conversation again with DH within earshot or actually with him? Maybe something like "DH, would you ever be interested in taking SD on a college visit to WV? She could even see XSS while there" etc.... with both of them in the room. Or would that just be weird? I do that sometimes or I will coach DH on what questions to ask to get on this topic -although our SD is only 11 so it's still pretty easy to get her talking. College SURE IS FUN but not appropriate for 15/16 year olds without supervision for sure!! It was right to tell DH, I hope he doesn't blurt something out and make SD resentful. I agree with you that she doesn't need to be going alone .... or with Xstepdad- weird!
I'm really hoping that she
I'm really hoping that she brings up something similar so i can pull more out of her for DH to hear. DH is the investigative type so I know he'll try to dig a little more on what she says until he has the story that i got. I completely agree that she has absolutely no business at the college, especially since she told me that her XSS is into partying. Who in their right mind would leave a 15/16 y/o with a 19 y/o to take care of?? ESPECIALLY when they're partying?! Hell, the XSS is a freshman and is very naive in the college partying arena. In addition, if XSS and her roommates get trashed, what are the chances that SD would also get trashed?? Um, right. I really think DH needs to call BM out on it.
I'm really frustrated with this whole situation, but even more so with the visitation agreement. Right now DH gets to see SD once a month (twice this month because of Thanksgiving), and the reason for this is because BM made it sound like she was so busy. Well, damn, I guess so when she's pawning the girl off on her XH. I'm just really irritated about this and I want DH to call her up and raise a little hell but he won't. He told me last night that SD was getting to the age where his involvement/discussions with BM will increasingly get less and less. I understand this, especially as SD starts driving and what not, but it really makes me sick thinking about how DH could have more time with SD if either SD or BM valued their relationship. My DH is, by far, not the best parent and there are several things that I expect he will do different with our BD, but just to stand by and let the cards fall just breaks my heart. SD is a smart girl and i hope one day she finally sees her BM for the manipulative PITA bitch she is but i'm not holding my breath.