I put stepdad in quotes because he was the only father I ever knew. They got married when I was 5 but my bio dad only saw me 2 times from 9 month to 3 when he went to jail. I have yet to ever see him in person.

Anywho... I was talking about my niece who is headed down a bad path. She is 19 and making terrible choices. My dad said that he was so surprised that her Stepdad (who has been in her life since she was 1) hasn't all out kicked this boy's, who is dragging her down, ass. I said that at this point I think he has given up. She has 2 parents. Nieces Sdad really had no say in discipline when she was growing up. My older 1/2 sister (same biodad) kept them compartmentalized (because she didn't want her child to be his burden) and now it is too late. I told my parents that I understand how nieces sdad got to that point. My SS is only 8 and I have only been at it for 3 years and I give up. Step parents have no rights and no say.

My mom said, "WOW... That wasn't the case in our house. Your dad had full rights to be "Dad" the minute he moved in and said that we were all a family now". It made me tear up a little because so many of us come into these relationships trying to make a family and the person that is supposed to be our support as much as we are theirs winds up tearing us down and only using us for what we can provide in terms of babysitting or financial support. I think this is why so many of our skids are so F'ed up. I am so grateful for all of the push-ups and groundings and picking up gumballs in the yard's that I had to do. It was no different than the discipline that my "stepdad" dished out to his and my moms bios. We were all the same and still are in my parents eyes. I got lucky my mom recognized that he just wanted me to be a good person. And I am because of them.