What a whirlind of crazy!!! I offered to make two dishes for each family. Luckily dinner times were a little different so we went over to his parents first, them, bf and I, my bio sons and his brother/wife/child. We had a great time!! Kids love going there, his parents are really good to them, bf and brother were on porch w/kids teaching them to shoot their new bb guns-we just seem to fit well with them.

At one point his brother mentioned to me how he thinks sometimes that sd is a lost cause, because of how her mom fills her head-apparently they had gone out to buy her clothes for her bday...she LOVED them when she got it-but when she saw them a week later after being w/her mom she said about the stuff they got (jacket and top), yeah well i guess you guys got what you wanted. He KNEW that came straight from bm's mouth-he said he's always seen her as a psycho b and that as the older brother he kicks himself every day-because he should have grabbed his little brother the day of the wedding and ran off w/him. I think he AND his parents feel responsible for 'allowing' it to happen since he was only 19 and was doing it simply becuz she was pregnant.

Then we go to my parents, dad only talked for a few mins and it was about church stuff or events that happened when he was traveling recently then got on his ipad on sudoko the rest of the time...wtf????? My brother sat w/youngest bio putting legos together, at least sil talked to bf and I, mom did a bit also.
I couldn't help but notice dad like a sore thumb-how rude, he NEVER did that kind of stuff-when it was family time it was family time!!
He's changed so much in the past couple of years it's so sad to watch how religion and the wrong influences have changed him so much from the man he used to be.
My mom pissed me off when she asked if anyone had invited my ex...I said NO mom I didn't, I don't want him here, divorced you know? I said look after that last joint event I promised myself and bf it wouldn't happen again, I explained that ex tried to take over conversation w/my dad and brother leaving bf shut out-she then said well he's just sitting there alone now also (bf), and he was as dad wasnt talking to him again, so she encouraged me to go sit with him. WTH is wrong with my family??!! They obviously have serious boundary problems-I want to send a long e-mail so bad explaining why I don't need my ex there, how they need to respect that-it's been 8 YEARS!!! We had just talked the day before w/my mom about what a crap dad he's being with my boys and how hurtful he is to them and was to me and you ask me if I invited him to my familys dinner???? He's not a PART of it, the obviously also don't get that once either of us moves on or is in another relationship the dynamic of joint events changes and it's about resepecting our new partner. I still dont see any of them accepting bf even though we've been together almost 3 years. Mom mentioned a few times recently how it's just dating and I reminded her that sil got a lot more recognition when her and my brother were together (they lived together) and that it saddens me that my dad doesn't make more of an effort to reach out to get to know him, or ask him stuff about his life, about school, they've shown no interest in getting to know his parents.

The lack of support in new marriages after a 'nuclear' is divorced is just WRONG. At leat I feel really at home w/his parents-even though they piss me off all the time w/them letting sd come over nilly willy-at least i know they hate bm and are on my side and have fully embraced me into their family.