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Heart to Heart with DH

over step's picture

I had a really good talk with DH the other night. No fighting or anything. I basically took back control of situations where I am blamed and bad mouthed by BM and Puke.

I made it clear that DH is NOT to discuss me with BM ever and any "talks" DH has with Puke about me is to be done in my presence. No more talking about me behind my back. I told him that if this marriage is going to be a happy one that we need to start standing as a team with BM and Puke.

There will be only one explanation when Puke asks why I did or didn't do something... I am an adult and I can do whatever I want. We are splitting our finances and although DH wasn't thrilled about it, he has said he will back me because he understands why I need to do this.

Now, I'm not getting my hopes up completely just yet since I haven't seen any of this in action so I'm being cautiously optimistic.

Comments

Tuff Noogies's picture

that's wonderful, over! cautiously optimistic is a good thing, but still enjoy the wonderful feeling of you both being on the same page. sometimes that can be rare, so enjoy it!

i hope with all my heart that this is the start of something better between you and your dh. maybe separating finances will now give him permission (in a way) to not have to make excuses for or justify what you have - what a relief that should be for him!

over step's picture

Puke likes to question whenever I buy something and DH has asked me to hide my things so Puke doesn't get upset. Plus DH is promising to get Puke a car and pay for the maintenance which we cannot afford. Basically I'm giving them both a reality check.