parents meeting the skids
i have been trying to get my parents to come and visit me to meet the stepkids. my parents have cancelled on me 3 times now. They never ask me about the kids or how I'm adjusting considering a couple months ago i had no children. I feel like they don't care or just have no interest in meeting them. It's not like they don't like children. my brother has two kids from two women. my mom spends ample time with both of his kids and in fact babysits his daughter every saturday night so my brother and his wife can go out. the son is currently in another country. but she sends him care packages and everything else. why won't my parents take an interest in my life too? has anyone else had a similar situation? any suggestions? should i just say f it cause im creepin up on that point.
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oh yeah...they are about 1.5
oh yeah...they are about 1.5 hours away from me.
To some people stepkids
To some people stepkids aren't really theirs, so it's no biggie. It would be like asking them to meet the kids down the street. Just because they are a big part of your life doesn't mean they are a big part of your parent's.
I'm not saying that is right or good but that is how many people view it.
i thought about that but my
i thought about that but my brother has one bio son and his daughter is the result of his wife cheating on him (before they were married) and my bro raises her as his own. my parents are completely okay with that and in fact they supported the wedding becuase it will make the adoption paperwork easier.
Are you married? They may not
Are you married? They may not take your relationship very seriously yet and be reluctant to give their hearts to children with whom they will never have contact again if you split from the father.
Just throwin an idea out there.
^^ This is what I was going
Talk to them. Be direct and see if they have a reason.
not married. at this rate, i
not married. at this rate, i dont think i want to be married. possibly may want tubes tied!
LMAO! After dealing with 6 I
LMAO! After dealing with 6 I would want a tubal too!
My father is like this.
My father is like this. Neither of my parents have met my SS, but my mother constantly asks about him, sends him gifts and says to say hi to him for her. My father acts like SS doesn't exist. SS is very sickly and he has never ONCE asked about him, even after his operation. I feel at times like my mother pushes to make him part of the family and my father wants to be very clear that he isn't. Honeslty, I don't really care but whenever I speak to my parents I always say they both asked about him because I know it would make him feel bad. Are you custodial?
for 2 of the kids, yes we
for 2 of the kids, yes we have custody. My parents haven't said anything negative, but that haven't said anything positive either. come to think of it, they dont say anything about any of it. if i dont bring it up, it doesnt get said.
i've thought about trying to
i've thought about trying to talk with them about the situation but i can't seem to get any alone time to have that conversation. i don't want to have it in front of the kids to spare their feelings. And I would prefer not to have it with my SO around because I think it would be easier that way. i've even thought about making that drive and going to their house on a day we can all agree on. But with the skids not listening to me, I don't want them breaking stuff in my parents home.
they more or less refuse to
they more or less refuse to listen to me because their mother told them not to listen to listen to anything i say. The BM likes to plot against me every chance she gets. I won't let her see that is bugs me as much as it does. I'm hoping she will stop telling the kids all this stuff if she doesn't think it affects me. If not, I might have to resort back to junior high school days and punch her in her face. im kind of joking on that last one...
My BM is just like this!
My BM is just like this! Tells the kids to not listen to me and that they can watch whatever they want at our house even if I say no! LOL She's such a child! I choose not to have any bio kids mainly because the Skids get to see their dad only during summer visits and I don't like to make them have to compete for his attention. My SD once told me that BM said the reason I don't have to bio kids is because I don't like kids! LOL If I didn't like kids why did I marry someone with kids? Thankfully the SD is very much a daddy's girl and is way smarter than BM! She can already see the games BM plays, unforunately my SS is just like BM. When SD turns 12 she can decide which parents she lives with...I know it's going to be a battle but she'll end up with us (I'd rather have her during teenage years anyways!)
Good luck to you though! My parents had a hard time at first accepting the skids but once I was married they accepted them as their own!
My parents really don't want
My parents really don't want anything to do with SD 13. She was 11 when we married and they just don't feel anything towards her. I respect this and don't push it.
Not sure if this applies to
Not sure if this applies to you, but my parents are very cool to sis's SD. Not cuz they are mean people but becauses sis's SO is a major douchebag. He's verbally abusive to my sis and even has been nasty to my mom. My parents want absolutely nothing to do with him or his kid.
Just a thought if your parents don't like this relationship they might not get too involved with the kids.
I think each person is
I think each person is different. As far as for me my mother doesn't like my husband but is nice to the skid that I can't stand. It is nothing that can be assumed. It's your life and your family. If you are up to taking the responsibility for that many kids then I give you the utter most respect.
It's not easy to support and care for someone elses kids, deal with the drama and have your personal life robbed from you. Every situation is different - you said it's only been a couple months. Give it a year or two and then worry about what your parents think.
I don't know you or your personal life - but if you are reading the posts here is should be a real warning to consider being a step mom. Yes, say F it and stop and realize what you are getting yourself into. This is not a light matter - your stuck with the kids till their 18 at least.
I know this is a huge life
I know this is a huge life changing decision. I thought I could handle it but now I am starting to wonder. The lack of sleep, stress, and having no life is starting to get to me. I don't have to go out every day but I want to be able to go out once a week without the kids. I love to hit the casinos and I haven't been able to do that in the longest. I can't go to the club because of the kids. I know that is selfish of me but my life shouldn't stop completely and it has. Since the kids even came here, me and my SO have not had a single night where we went out or did anything without the kids around. They are ALWAYS there. I have to censor the music I listen to because they are around and music is a huge part of my life. I'm tired of eating simple kiddie meals and cleaning up constant spills. I'm tired of explaining the same rules over and over and over. All the kids ever say is "I forgot, sorry". Most of the time they don't even get punished...that's the SO's decision not mine. The kids wouldn't close the door when they would come in and outside again yesterday and after a while I said f it and I went and told the kids that from now when they leave the door open then I will start fining them money out of their savings. I'm already terrified to see this electric bill with having kids in the home and leaving the door open in 100 degree weather makes me worry that much more. I hate feeling the way I do but I want to have a life, not just wipe faces and settle fights. I want to have an intelligent conversation with adults, not discuss the latest on yo gabba gabba. I've always heard people give up their lives when they have kids but I at least thought there would be a night out once in a while. I hate only getting 3 hours of sleep a night, once in a while I might be able to get 5 on a saturday night if i let the kids stay up way late. I feel like all i do is go to work, come home n tend to kids, clean, re clean, re clean, cook, then do it all over again the next day. I'm sorry but this does not feel like any quality of life to me.