I feel like I cannot win with my SD. This child is 10 years old and every time I say something to her she back talks to me. If she does not get her way, she will throw a fit and cry, scream and throw things and make everyone’s life terrible. We have been going through this for three years now, and full time for me since my husband took his new job and I have to pull all the weight with raising my SD. Her mother lives 4 blocks away and wants little or nothing to do with her daughter and when told about what is going on she says she has had to put up with enough @#$^ today and does not want to hear it then hangs up.

The other night her mom was suppose to keep her and decides to switch night without telling us (but told her daughter). We had plans with friends for a BBQ, so we were going to have to take her with us. At 3:30 in the afternoon after school all hell broke loose because I told her she had to work on extra math practice sheets because she has been having problems in school (her father told her about this the night before). She screamed and back talked and threw things for three and a half hours. I called our friends and told them what was going on and suggested we make it another night, they said NO come over and we will put her in our spare bedroom and she can do her math in there while we continue with our plans (I told them she was going to scream all night).

So to no avail we went over and she was fine for about 30 minutes, then she started screaming and said she was not going to do her math, and she continued this for hours on end. Finally we told her there was a bed and blankets and for her to go to bed. She screamed for another hour or so, until none of us could take it anymore. She tells us as soon as we told her to get up so we could go home that she planned on doing this until we took her home (that she wanted to leave so she was going to ruin everyone’s night unless she got what she wanted).

We have tried everything from talking to grounding to spanking her. We have had her talk to someone and now I just made an appointment for her to be evaluated to be put on medication.

This type of thing has been going on a daily basis, and starts every night. I don’t want to sound mean, but I don’t even want to be around this child anymore. She makes everyday so bad I don’t even want to wake up. When I make her dinner (like last night) she watched me make her sandwich and then when put on the table she said, “ I am not eating this, it looks disgusting”. She started to cry and make faces and gagging noises. She screamed, so I called her father, told him the situation and he got on the phone with her and told her to eat or there was no dinner for her.

I got the phone back and she slammed her hands on the table, shoved the sandwich in her mouth ½ of it at once until she was gagging and then spit it all over my floor. She never cleaned up her mess, just went to the fridge to grab something else to eat. Her father said to throw her sandwich away, spank her butt and put her in her room. I did what he said, and she screamed until she knew her dad would be home within the next few minutes.

What do I do with this child? I am her full time caregiver and she hates me about as much as I can’t stand her attitude. I do everything for her that her mother should be doing but doesn’t. She has made attempts at physically hurting me, said she will do whatever it takes to make me leave. I love her father and my will is stronger than hers, but I feel like I could blow my top, like I am at the end of my rope with this child. How do I get her to stop? We took all her toys away, grounded her, took all fun activities away, we have talked to her. She lies everyday, she lies to her mother and anyone who talks to her about the situation and says “I make her mad”.

Darn it all, I think she is going to make me go nuts, am I the only one who has felt this way?????????