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Second bad visit...

ohiomom2twoandmorel8tr's picture

BM calls on saturday the 4th, asking to see ss2 and ss3. I already had plans to take them with me to my parents for the fourth of july thing going on down at my hometown on saturday the 5th. Well she calls DH at work and asks, he says thats fine. YES IT MADE ME MAD because of what happened the previous time she got them, and how upset she always seems! Well DH calls and tells me that he's going to let her take them for the evening on the 5th and that we will get them back sunday at 11am. Well i told him i was going to call her to see if she would wait until sunday to see them since i already had plans to take them to the fireworks. So i called and asked as nicely as possible she tells me no she has plans and we ruin everything, and how we are no good for the kids and flying off the handle. Even though she was acting completely crazy DH still said we have to let her see them. Alright so fine i dropped the boys off to her at 230pm on saturday then from their i went and met DH for lunch since he was working. We go to subway which over looks a busy road that you have to take to get to the highway, and BM goes by with all windows down in her truck, empty carseats, 3 guys in her truck all headed toward the highway to the next town. Which is known for drugs, and BM uses. We have proved countless times but noone seems to give a shit! even had an officer confirm that ss2 and ss3 smelled of marajuana, we told them where she lived and everything the refused to go to the house but filed a complaint and forwarded to CPS which did nothing. Well we both look at each other and, being the smart ass i am said arent you glad you let her take them today, now the boys are stuck with their pill popping grandma who steals pills from old people ( bm's mom works at a nursing home and has been caught countless times stealing meds from patients, but still hasnt been fired). He could have gone to her house knocked on the door, right to refusal got the kids back and been done with it... but he had to go back to work and i couldnt do it because I'm not the bio parent! So he lets it go, says nothing to BM about it but documents it like that has helped thus far! It just really makes me mad because she just does it to keep the boys away from us as much as possible. I just get so scared that they are going to start hating me or worse stop calling me mommy, I know im not their mom but seeing how i was taking care of them for 2 years while she was m.i.a. (ss2 since he was born and ss3 since he was less than a year) i think it would be really hard for me to handle, i know she says things about me to them because ss3 has repeated some of it. I dont know its just a big fear of mine!! HONESTLY, is it so much to ask that she falls off the face of the earth again? :jawdrop:

Comments

Sia's picture

Don't mean to sound nasty, but why didn't he go get those babies. No job is worth that! I KNOW how you feel all to well. I raised both SD's from the time they were very young while she went and did what ever she wanted to do. I am the one who taught them everything, basically and raised them and it made me so very angry when she would just pop in/out of their lives upsetting them every step of the way. Now, she has convinced them that DH and I are evil.....oh well. I know your disappointment, and I feel for you!

Dreamer's picture

I would have chewed DH out till her went and got them. I would have told him if came planned on coming home without them, then don't bother coming home at all. Those poor babies. I'm saying a prayer for them right now.

~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~

StepG's picture

I would not let them boys go back or request supervised visitation. Bless their hearts only 2 and 3 and not old enough to sense something is not right. Is there a set visitation schedule for her to get them?

ohiomom2twoandmorel8tr's picture

the custody is 50/50 dh is scared about going for full custody beacuse our state/county favors dead beat moms my recent posts show how stupid she is and my very first post lays it all out its just so frustrating! He loves those boys but i just wish he wouldnt be so scared to just go for it. Everytime we try documenting something or getting cps or the cops involed it goes unanswered and we get no where. But i hate standing by and just watching her tear these boys apart emotionally, and sometimes physically.

kathleen's picture

There are certain emergencies that warrant missing work. Getting your children from harms way is one of them. I don't get it. As for you. You love those children as your own so it is no wonder this is ripping your heart out. They are babies still. Sounds like you and hubby need to have a sit-down, figure out what you want to do and then start taking serious legal action. Those kids need to be in a safe place at all times. She can visit them at a supervised location.

DESGUIZED ANGEL's picture

I would call the police to do a welfare child check up. If you call your local police, they should drive over there to check on the kids and call you back to let you know how they are. If they feel that the kids need to be removed then they will call you to come get them, and the great thing is that YOU can go get them...bio parent or not!! I had the same situation with my SD7...it didn't look good for mom at all. I called everyweekend she went over there. One time they found my SD7 out in 45 deg weather in shorts and a t-shirt, alone!!...police took her and called me to come get her...they didn't tell mom. They waited until mom called in a report...which was 3 hours later!!!!! I know it seems pointless and ignorant, but paperwork will turn out to be your friend..either in court or later when the kids grow up. It doesn't hurt anything, we pay for the service with our tax money...use it!! GOOD LUCK!!