I wanted to start out by saying I'm so thankful to read these posts and know that I'm not the only one going thru this stuff. 99% of it I've been thru, witnessed, experienced, etc... It's been a long, hard road and still have many miles to go. I've been a SM for 12 yrs now and it's not getting any easier. I was never the "other woman" or the reason why mom & dad are not together. My husband and the BM were never married and only have a somewhat civil relationship due to my SD. I've been in my SD's life since she was 9 months old. I've helped raised her, although BM would never admit to that! I was never "mom" to her because BM drilled it into her head that she only has 1 mother. I've been treated like you know what since the beginning. They both have talked behind my back, told lies, gotten my husband and I against one another. You name it, they've done it. It doesn't help either that BM is diagnosed as being bipolar. My husband and I (and mostly I) have been the constant rock in SD's life. We have paid the child support, bought the clothes, furniture, food and on and on. She's always with me because BM cannot handle life most times. But in SD's eyes BM is always the hero, the one that does ALL!! Yeah right! Well BM was in and out of jail for yrs (unfortunately SD witnessed BM being cuffed and taken away many times) and we finally got custody. BM went away for 2 1/2 yrs so it was me and husband full time. She had her moments because of BM being gone but she was in a stable environment and did well in all that she did. I was still "not her mom" so was still disrespected, lied to most times, etc but that was nothing new. BM got out of prison 2 yrs ago and finally got somewhat of her life together now. SD demanded this yr she wanted to stay with mom more often because BM not working and stays home all day. We tried it out and we see more attitude, lies, just plain nasty from SD. I've had it at this point. She doesn't follow rules, does not listen to me at all and lies about me. She told my husband and I that she hates me and her younger brother. You talk about a knife in the heart!! I know the problem is letting her stay with her mom but honestly I'm thankful for the break! I've probably said to much but it feels good to get it out!!