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Only a problem because you didn't get your way.

NotThatTypical's picture

I'm not a bad person for not letting the 8 year old call his mom when the only reason he's wanting to is because I won't let him do what he wants. He's had free access to his tablet and TV all day. I had him turn it off at 7 then I played a video game for about an hour which he all to happily watched. As soon as I turned it off he wanted to turn on the TV and I said no so he started the I'm bored. Said he was so bored he was going to be a whole 10 minutes early. Then right at bed time he comes out with tears about how much he misses his mom.

Yes I 100% believe he misses his mom HOWEVER the only reason he's now wanting to call is because he didn't get his way and that upsets him. He has free access to contact her any time he wants otherwise. He can freely message her on the tablet he had all day. I'm not letting him on after bedtime to message now and that doesnt make me a bad person. I told him he was more than welcome to contact her tomorrow but its bed time and I'm not changing that and I would bet money he won't contact her tomorrow. 

It's just like BM cries that 6 weeks in the summer is too long but doesn't even keep them her full 48 hours and her family is the one to ask if they have some speical event they want them for. Like Aunt's birthday last week that they asked to have then 4 four hours but BM returned them after 2.....

It's just hard not to scream at everyone. The kids 8 so I'm more understanding but BM doesn't make it better then blames us for all the kids problems. Thankfully she screwed up enough that the school forced the kids into therapy and the therapist have confirmed we aren't the issue. I just wish there was an easy way to handle it all because again I know he misses her but he has to learn how to handle it better and not work himself up just because he can't watch TV.

Comments

JRI's picture

I dont see you mentioning DH, you seem to have most of the burden.   You're trying to do a good job.  Can DH take on the discipline ("No electronics in bed", "You can call Mommy any time during the day but not in bed, that's time to sleep", "Stop whining", etc).  You are NOT a bad person, you re a SM trying to enforce sensible rules

 

NotThatTypical's picture

SO works nights. He does his share of parenting and he has no issue with how I handled it.

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Your response was more than reasonable. You set a limit which is good and SS can call message his mother in the morning. I agree a parent should not give into a child's demands. 

Now that you know this will be his reaction, before bedtime give him a warning that bedtime is coming up and if he wants to message BM he needs to do it before. Because I believe your right I am sure he still won't message her but at least you went above and beyond to give him the opportunity.