We haven't gone to visit the skids in 10 months(they've come to us a couple of times). It's 4 hours away. We usually for some reason or another end up going inside BM's house, to help carry skids stuff in or the gskid's car seat or whatever. SO used to even look through the fridge to make sure they had food. He has changed a light bulb and fixed a vacuum cleaner. I had to make an issue of this, showing how I DO NOT enter my ex's home, not to help carry stuff in or fix things or clean anything. "But my kids live there and I'm helping them" well I had a kid still living with my ex too and my younger kids are there 3-4 times a month. If you haven't read my other blogs or posts, my SO has ptsd and has gone through alot of therapy and hard work to get past some things and this is one of them. So we're going there this weekend and this is my test to see if he can stick with his boundaries. I dread the whole visit. One of the last times we were there he had a seizure right on the kitchen floor and woke up terrified that he was back in that house and that BM was going to attack him like she used to when he had seizures or was sick from chemo. 

My sd22, who SO made leave after a huge blowup and live with my MIL, is coming with us to see her sister and meet her newborn neice. Sd22 barely spoke to SO since she moved in with MIL and I'd had enough and texted her. I said "you might be mad at your dad or at me but you were very dishonest to alot of people and that was wrong. And your dad invited you to go with us even though you won't talk to him or visit him." And she started talking to him everyday and not being a shit anymore. We have to get a hotel room for the visit and SO is having sd22 pay for her own room. 

I am just so grateful that SO listens to me when I bring things like this up. He'll read online about issues and realize it is inappropriate and then he starts working on changing his behavior, or thought process, or expectation. I read some posts on here that are so cringe-worthy. I am lucky he does his best to put our marriage and happiness first and if I feel that he's not he acknowledges it and makes changes. There are still things that really get on my nerves, we can't sit on the couch and watch a movie without skids texting or calling, and sd19 knows that stress triggers seizures but she won't stop fucking calling him with her drama. He won't put his foot down hard enough about that but I sure am when I see her this weekend. I let my kids know when we are on a date or my one night off not to call or text. He said he'll start doing that too. I think it hadn't occurred to him until I told him that I do that. His marriage was so terrible that there wasn't dates or alone time, and it was actually safer for him when his kids were around. He's been learning and seeing by how I parent my kids they don't need to be The Most Important People. I LOVE and adore my kids, too, they are the smartest and nicest and most beautiful people ever. But they very much respect me and their stepdad and our marriage and if they don't I set them straight immediately. (But we don't really ever have those kinds of issues)

I know this was rambling and weird. Thanks for reading and wish me luck this weekend. SO can't drive bc of epilepsy and I do not like being away from him for longer than to go to work so that's why I'm going even though I don't want to. I do want to see the sgrandbabies but I know not to get attached again I made that mistake once.