Around the time when DH and BM divorced, BM stole her dad's (BMDad) identity. BMDad disowned her for it. It was the last straw of a lifetime of stealing, manipulating and lying that she had done against her own father (BMDad). He never pressed charges and now regrets that, but at the time was a guilty divorced dad himself. BMDad stayed close with DH and later, with me. Partly to stay in touch with SS17 and partly because he felt DH was screwed over by his daughter, BM. BMDad is at the point where he feels SS17 is a lost cause just like BM. Too many similar behaviors.

A few months ago BM's brother assaulted BMDad. 74-year old BMDad had to be helicoptered to a major medical center for two brain bleeds and is still unable to walk without a limp and unsteady gait. He has many symptoms and will be undergoing more surgeries.

BM had a great job at the time, but started literally phoning it in instead of showing up at her work sites and then lied about it. A friend of mine is a manager at the company, so she told me what happened. BM was given the chance to come clean and keep her job, but she lied. So BM got fired. Then started begging for money from DH.

Then BM's brother (the one who assaulted BMDad) died about a month ago. They are saying heart attack. BM has been blasting her grief all over social media and looking for sympathy ($$) everywhere.

It's complicated because of the assault, but BMDad is legal next of kin to the brother who died, so he's been in charge of the estate etc after the fact. He's also undergoing surgery tomorrow and again in December, more than likely, because of the assault so he's kind of busy. And 74 years old to boot. He hasn't yet planned a funeral but was going to do a delayed memorial service.

BM and SS17 are both raising a stink about how BMDad isn't planning a funeral, complaining to DH how they are left out of all the planning. She has said that her brother "would want her to have something" (from his estate). He died intestate and has a daughter who was disabled from birth. Anything he has should and WILL legally go to the daughter, as it should.

DH keeps saying to her that he's not involved but she keeps texting. I guess being out of work, ineligible for unemployment and money grubbing makes you frantically text people who can't and won't help you take advantage of other people. If you are a certain kind of person.

BM is now on a tangent about how she must not be her father's biological daughter. Her reasoning: no father would cut out his own flesh and blood from his life like he has. They must be not related. She is asking for a DNA test. Which means of course she is calling her own mother a wh*re, but she's not smart enough to realize that. It can't possibly be that her father just doesn't want to be taken advantage of and lied to anymore, it must be something else.

So in the midst of all this BM has finally pushed SS17 to get a job. A few months ago her precious child could not be expected to work, school was his job and he was supposed to enjoy his childhood. Blah blah. Now she got fired and suddenly of course BM thinks it's a GREAT idea for SS17 to work now!

What happens when these women lose child support because the kid ages out? I am in a state where we have about 7 more months of CS left. I don't think she's stopped to think that CS pays 100% of her rent and car payment for her and what that might mean, budget-wise.

Dh has not given her any extra money except stuff we've given through the CS distribution system, which makes his CS end early, which we are fine with. I know she's going to turn up the intensity of the drama when the gravy train ends, or quite possibly try to dump SS17 on us in the guise of "he should spend more time with his father". However, I am now chronically ill and cannot handle the stress of having SS17 in our home, so that's not an option.

I can handle seeing the drama from a distance and having DH laugh and tell me about it, but having SS17 in my home would be too much.

ETA: almost forgot. In an attempt to convince DH that her new husband is an upstanding citizen who is safe to be around SS17, she also told DH and put on social media that her prisoner pen pal husband is just a misunderstood man who is just protective of his son. According to BM, prison-hubs only tried to kill his former baby momma because he caught her naked, with her boyfriend and with his 10-year old son. He's not a violent felon with a long history of restraining orders and convictions for domestic violence, he's just a loving father who wanted to protect his son... Interesting how he didn't raise this issue to the police or in court when he plead guilty to attempted murder and how his baby momma has full custody and no charges were ever filed against her for child sexual abuse or endangering a child... I'm sure it's because that never happened!