Update on Funeral Arrangements
Well it's been a week and two days since my brother in law past away. We still have not had a funeral for him nor is he burried. My husband is still haning on to the hope that there is some money out there to burry him with. He refuses to cremate him and have a simple funeral just for us. He set up an account for donations to help with the expenses so far no one has sent money. I keep telling him his brother would not want us to go through this but he insists on waiting. I asked him how long he was willing to wait. H said until I can give him what he would have wanted. Well he wouldn't want to be left in a cold room in the funeral home! My H needs closure. he cries every night! And when he's not crying he just doesn't sleep. He's a wreck! I told him he needs to get some counseling but he won't go to that either. I can't take it anymore. We were already having problems and now this! I'm ready to just walk away but I know that would just kill him if I did right now. I haven't gone anywhere except work without him since last Monday. I can't take it! I know he's greiving but I just can't be around that all the time. I decided I'm going to my friends house tonight for a girls night. I will probably end up spending the night. I feel bad but it's almost like he doesn't want to move on. I don't sleep becasue he's up all the time at night. This is ok for him becasue he doesn't work.
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Grief takes time. 2-4yrs for
Grief takes time. 2-4yrs for most people to get completely past the grieving cycle. But, having your brother in cold storage at the funeral home can't be good for him.
He needs to call the funeral home and tell them to cremate his brother. Then your DH can take all the time he needs to grieve and decide on what to do.
My condolences to you and your DH on the loss of his brother.
Why is he refusing cremation?
Why is he refusing cremation? If that's all he can afford, then he doesn't have any other choice? How long will a funeral home hold the body there? I had no idea you could wait so long, plus, I would imagine doing so is costing even more money.
Will the funeral home take a
Will the funeral home take a payment plan? He needs closure
I am totally against getting
I am totally against getting into debt to pay for funerals. I was completely thrown for a loop when my Ex-MIL passed and my Ex and I had to foot the entire bill. She lived in GA so we had to pay for a small funeral in GA and then fly her out to DR because that's where she wanted to be buried. We had another funeral in DR. We spent over 10k. I was ready to kill somebody. I have told my family REPEATEDLY that I want to be cremated and then they can go to a beach ANYWHERE and throw my ashes into sea. After, I want them to release wish lanterns into the air at night and wish me a peaceful travel. I want everyone to sit around a bonfire and share stories of my life. Just love & just memories. So sorry to hear the grief your DH is going thru, but maybe you can try and knock some sense into him? Good luck.
my mom died in march and was
my mom died in march and was and still is the most horrific experience i am going throug in my life.
it was sudden, she had valves replaced a few years back but i live in the uk and one of my biggest fears was getting a phone call saying she was in the hospital. but i never imagined my sister would call me and tell me she was dead.
i was a good 9 hour flight away and i felt like someone punched me in the face and i was bleeding without end.
she had no will so the second i was out in vancouver the next day, coulda been two i cant actually remember as i was on tamazepam the whole time...we pretty much had to guess what she wanted. at least we both agreed on cremation.
he needs to do what he can but keep in mind what his brother would have wanted. lying in a funeral home is surely not it.
I think some banks offer
I think some banks offer loans to assist family's when paying for a funeral. I'd ask the funeral home for a reference.
My father passed suddenly about 13 years ago. My mom had a wake at the church before the service and he was cremated. It was half the cost of a standard funeral.
I recently attended a funeral were the person had been cremated before the service and thought it was very dignified.
Grief is a process, it takes time. I still have a hard time during Christmas cause it was dad's favorite holiday. I'm sorry for your loss and praying that your DH finds some comfort.
~BettyRay