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Disengaging with a quickness. Vent- kind of long.

no1smaid's picture

I now see why all of you call them skids. I can see all of them as shit stains on underwear right now.

My evening started yesterday with DH attempting to convince me to allow the skids to earn their allowances back. As he is making his case, I am watching a bug crawl up the wall behind him. I removed my shoe, walked past him, smashed it and just looked at him. He shut up. I called Orkin this morning, they will be here to re-spray sometime this afternoon.

Skid#3 DH checked his email after the attempted chat about allowance. There in his inbin is an email from skid#3 Language arts teacher. He is concerned as skid#3 had two projects due prior to the winter break and they were not turned in. One was due in October the other December 6th. The teacher had talked to skid#3 who advised these projects still were not done. He would get to them 'when he could'. The teacher was not impressed. This child spent all of winter break doing whatever he wanted, well aware these projects were overdue and despite being allowed fun and freedom over 2.5 weeks still could not find the time to take care of his responsibilities. We had family in town that came over for coffee and a chance to catch up and skid#3 was sitting at the table all evening, doing these projects and projecting a crappy attitude.

Skid#1 invited over a boyfriend, without permission, and decided during the family gathering was a good time to make out with him and shove her tongue down his throat. Her uncle solved that problem. Boyfriend was picked up by the neck and tossed out the front door. Skid#1 did not find it humerous, I however found it hysterical.

Skid#2 was in full show off mode due to the amount of company in the house. Inappropriate behavior and language that was corrected multiple times by aunts, uncles, adult cousins and her father. She was finally sent to bed as her behavior sucked.

Skid#4 decided with company here he was going to run through the house and "jump" the kitchen island to get to the plate of brownies before anyone else could. This leap of his ended up clearing the island, sending the candy dish that was my great grandmothers to the floor in a million pieces.

I held it together while company was here. And after they left sat down to talk to DH about it. I was told he would handle HIS kids that I did not need to NAG.

Ok buddy, you got it. They are all yours.

He went to work this morning. It is my day off. They woke me up at six that I needed to drive them to school as they missed the bus. I told them to walk and rolled back over and went back to sleep. It is only three miles and the excercise would not hurt any of them. DH called me minutes later as the skids of course called him that I was being mean. He started talking and I cut him off.

You handle your kids, then I won't need to nag.

Comments

Nobratsallowed's picture

I think one of the greatest gifts in the world is when other adults see and experience what we do with the skids we have to endure. Huzzah for the adults who took charge of the inappropriate behavior. One would think it would wake up the bio, wouldn't one? Willful blinders. I say they deserve the adults their children become, unless they recognize the rat in the corner for what it really is - a rat.

And you deserve a special gift to yourself for acting like a real parent and telling them to walk to school. That's why the call it 'tough love'. Wink

thelaststraw's picture

One of the reasons I visit this board is to see that others have it as bad or worse then me. Misery loves company.

Way to set the law down to your DH. Stay strong. It's just a shame that he deosn't agree with you. Unified fronts are critical things to manage.

no1smaid's picture

Yes they did walk. DH works 45 minutes away and can not just leave his job. I got a call from the school asking if the kids tardy should be excused (apparently they tried calling DH and did not receive an answer). I told the school I was only a SM, and did not have the authority to authorize an excused tardy when step children sleep through their alarms and miss the bus and are made to walk to school as a lesson.

The office lady was laughing so hard she snorted! All four kids have an unexcused tardy, so they will have to serve a detention after school today, so they will miss the bus AGAIN on the way home. Office lady asked if she should tell them to walk home too.

Yep.

Jsmom's picture

You handled it great. Your husband is clueless. Also, bravo to the Uncle. Wish more people were like that with these teens...

Do not do a thing for these kids, they sound like brats and his enabling them is going to make them worse. Good job on the disengaging....

ThatGirl's picture

Good job! I actually dread having days off when skids are around, because they always manage to do something to spoil it for me... miss the bus, fake sick, whatever. I'm glad you put your foot down. Keep reminding him that it's his job to handle them, so that you won't have to "nag." Then maybe he'll actually start parenting them instead of leaving up to all other adults.

on the fence's picture

I made my own walk to school one time when he missed the bus. It was only two miles at the time and he was old enough to have the responsibility of getting on the bus ( about 12 years old at the time). I was already on my way to work, but there was no way I was letting him get away with that and stay home playing video games all day for missing the bus. I called the school and kept in touch to make sure he got there.

I guess my point is that even if they were your bios, they don't need to feel so entitled!

And I love it that DH had to eat his words. Good for you. Everyone will be better off for it and you can have some respect!

jenstep's picture

Dear no1smaid:

I am in love with you (and I don't even lean that way sexually - not since college but it was just a phase I SWEAR! Wink ). I'm gonna be president of your fan club! I'm designing the club jackets right now!

buttercookie's picture

I think this is how parents used to parent their kids back when kids were expected to behave. I know my mom would have done the same, I can say you are being consistent and following through, lets hope your Dh doesn't make you the villan