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DH not as dumb as I thought.

no1smaid's picture

He did let the kids into the house when he got home then he came to find me. As the nail salon I use is only a mile away from my house and he drove past it on the way home and saw my truck, it apparently did not take a genius to locate me in the coffee shop, sipping coffee and watching CNN on their TV. I truly thought he would start another argument but instead he sat down at the table and apologized.

His obnoxious behavior and statement last night was due to extreme mortification at how his kids had acted and apparently my bringing the behavior up after the company left rubbed salt into an open bleeding wound. One that he swears he recognizes, and knows that he is 50% responsible for making. The other half he is blaming on the skids BM as she also helped turn them into obnoxious monsters. But he apologized several times that he was not upset at me and does not think I nag, and listed several ways he knows I help with the kids. In hindsight he thought it was funny I made them walk to school. His first thought this morning was they would be late and he was trying to prevent them from missing school. He also admitted his father had made him walk to school once and he had learned his lesson to not miss the bus from that episode.

So all is good, right? No fighting, no yelling. We get into our vehicles and drive home. I went straight home, he stopped to get a pack of smokes... then come home. He walked in on Skid#1 cussing me out for shutting off her phone. Called me a F***ing B**ch and he heard it. His back hand is fast. Caught her mouth and she dropped the phone she was waving at me. He stomped on it and it now has 3 pieces, none connected. Skid#1 ran for her room and slammed the door. Skids #2,#3 ran like hell to get out of dads way while he was on the war path. While skid#4 mentioned that what dad had overheard was nothing compared to what skid#1 had said on the way to school... or on the ride home. (Skid#4 I used to think was sneaky. That he would tattle on others to deflect attention from himself, I am starting now to think no he just has diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain. He does not think before he speaks.)

All four skids got a ride home, they did not walk, with skid#1s new boyfriend (he of the tongue and neck incident last night). Only they did not go straight home as they thought I would be there so they went to this kids house, whose parents my DH does not know and hung out for an hour or so, so I would think they walked home. He dropped them off 2 blocks away so I would not hear the car.

DH had to give himself a time out. He turned red then purple and was shaking. He went for a walk to calm down before he killed them. When he got home he grounded all four to their rooms, collected cell phones and electronic games and left. He was headed to go talk to his dad. Apparently he felt the need for professional tutoring in discipline without causing death this evening, so he went to a pro. FIL and DH got home about an hour and a half ago. They are currently outside, smoking cigars. Skid#1 lost her bedroom door. Her grandfather jerked it off the hinges. Per him he is cutting it up for fire wood since by the time she earns it back she will have already moved out.

Each kid is grounded both for behaviors last night as well as their getting a ride home, going to a strangers house, being deceitful and lying by omission. Skid#1 is also grounded for cussing me out.
DH is going to have to write me a list of what they are allowed to do, that is going to be shorter than what he listed off that they were not allowed to do. FIL is spending the night. He is waking the skids tomorrow morning to ensure they get to school on time. I think by 6am tomorrow morning they are going to wish all they had to worry about was walking to school.

Comments

no1smaid's picture

I learned this evening that my FIL used to be a Marine. Never knew that before. As for whipping someone into shape, the door to the patio is open and I did hear "Boy, how many times did I tell you that this f*ing child worship gimmick you and (BM) had goin on was gonna come back and bite you square on the a**".

There is alot of educating going on out there, and FIL is not talking loud. But about every minute or so I can heard DH saying "Yes sir." If FIL can get DH whipped into shape, which in turn would whip the skids into shape, I am going to suggest to my MIL that she lease him out as a professional daddy, for SM's everywhere to lease and educate their own "Disney Dads".

buttercookie's picture

I love the resolution. Bet the skids think twice about misbehaving in the future or mouthing off to adults.

ddakan's picture

Please....send that man to my house!!!!

WOW, I bet those skids are walking on eggshells. I am so impressed with DH for consulting a pro and actually having a plan to deal with the fall out.

YAY FOR GRANDPA!! I am glad for you that someone finally took up for you and realized that those kids were out of control. I'd like to be a fly on your wall this week!!

I appreciate that DH was over his head and he went to find some wisdom and gave respect to his father. It's that kind of thing that will trickle down the the skids.

It's so rare that we actually get satisfaction out of the skid situation. Thank you for sharing your success. In some ways, it's like we all win when one of us wins, ya know?

LizzieA's picture

I love it! Yay. Good for you for sticking to your guns and letting things implode. I think they needed to. Before you were just absorbing the BS like a sponge so DH didn't have to deal with it. I love your FIL!

bruisedpeach's picture

my mom used that door trick on me and my sister when i was younger and by god it works.

privacy is a privelege when you are a child and one of the fastest ways to assert yourselves as the rulers of the house.

good on your dh for asking for help from a pro and please come back and give us all the dl on his other amazing methods.

Jsmom's picture

Your FIL is my hero. Good for him. I grew up with a military dad and trust me he was tough. He did the door thing with me and my sister. We slammed the door too many times in fights and came home to no door. It worked, I never slammed a door again. I remember going to the garage to stare at them and praying that they would go back on.

My Dad is the reason I am a neat freak now, he once got so mad at the mess in my room, he emptied my closet onto my floor and made me re-organize. I didn't come out of that room for hours. Now my rooms are always organized. I think the extreme stuff works. Those are the things we remember and they have an impact.

I bet those kids never miss the bus again. Hopefully, your DH listens to his Dad and doesn't enable those kids behavior again.