Frustrated with SD
I just recently posted about my SD-17 learning a lesson. And before I could finish shutting down my computer - I found out she is not dong her school work again -- and going to see her ex.
It seems she is determined to shoot herself in the foot.
She is one credit away from not graduating this year. And now she is failing the class she needs to graduate. Teacher doesn't know if there will be enough grades to make up for the work SD has missed so far -- so she might fail.
Top that off she texts me that she talked with her ex boyfriend and that he now wants to help with the baby. He will give her money if she goes ahead and puts him on the birth certification and doesn't take him to court. He told her that they are "grown up" enough to work this out without having to go to court. SD is suppose to "trust" him. Now she is wanting to do what the ex wants -- again.
SD is using this baby as a pawn. She wants this boy -- and she still thinks the baby is the way to get him. When he won't do what she wants she tells us and him that he "will never see this baby!" The last time she threatened was to get him to take her to the prom. He isn't -- but I don't think she is done trying to get her way.
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How sad for the baby. She
How sad for the baby. She needs to go ahead and put his name on the birth certificate, and she needs to go ahead and take him to court to have the child support ordered. She can explain to him that if he's planning to pay it already, the court paper are simply a precaution to see that it happens.
I would like to see them
I would like to see them work this out for the benefit of the baby -- but with everything he has done -- and she has done, we were advised by our lawyer to not put him on the birth certificate. That way if he is telling the truth about wanting to be part of the baby's life, he can initiate the court proceedings. If not - then we don't have to fight him over custody rights and trying to get money. Honestly, that is money we don't have to spend.
DH has agreed to help SD get at least two years of college before she is expected to move out on her own. He said if the "ex boy" is involved, all DH will provide is a home for SD and the child. SD and the "ex boy" will have to provide everything else. When we told the "ex boyfriend" this - he said NO Way he will only pay what he has too and no more - that was our jobs as grandparents.
So, can she collect child
So, can she collect child support without him on the birth certificate? That was why I thought it should be there. I figured in order to enforce child support, if he wasn't on it, they'd have to go through paternity testing or something.
No we can't get child
No we can't get child support if he is NOT on the birth certification - but then we are at the point that if he wants to be the father, he will make the effort. He hasn't so far - and doubt he will.
All he cares about is telling SD that he WILL take the baby anytime he wants and do with it WHATEVER he wants and she can't do a dang thing about it. The reason the lawyer said leave his name off. Let him take us to court instead of us having to take him to court.
The sad thing is - she will
The sad thing is - she will not survive out on her own. She has absolutely no skills in which to take care of herself...forget taking care of a child.