Block them all from being able to contact you. I’m glad your FH is putting up boundaries with his kids, they need to be in place. Children should never get to call the shots & they way they’re behaving is repulsive. 

As sad as it is if the kids stop talking to him, that’s their choice. He is absolutely doing the right thing. I also think it’s better that he see his kids outside of the home instead of you & your DD leaving. His kids are creating the issue so it’s his job to deal with the mess. 

If it’s really too much for your daughter though & your FH can’t keep his kids under control, then I’d consider either moving out & dating until the kids have launched, or at minimum waiting to get married. You don’t need to put up with the drama & garbage from his children.

As much as I don't think kids should run the show, I also don't think it's OK for any parent to just stop being a parent because it got too hard, and he'd rather hang out with his GF.   I don't know if BM is behind this, or your SO is a lousy parent, or the kids are just really challenging, but I don't think the solution is to say he won't have them at the house anymore.

I personally think the solution is for you and your DD to move out and for him to try to get his situation under control in whatever way needs to happen - therapy, change in parenting, etc.  While I think a spouse has to come first, at this point, I think he has to figure out what is going on with his kids.  It's possible he will lose them anyway, but he needs to try to get this under control before he just gives up on being a parent. 

If BM were to just say, "I'm done with these kids, you take them all the time," would you think that was reasonable?

Move out, and if you're still together when all the kids are 18, get married then. Seeing them outside the house isn't a viable or permanent solution. After you move out, you could consider family counseling to try to repair things.

 This will happen no matter who he is with.  It’s a power play.  So either he has a life with someone else. Or he has a life with his kids and kids only.  That he will be alone everyday except EOWE and Tuesday 

Your fiance only decided last weekend that he was going to see his kids outside the house.  This is new, uncharted territory.  Who knows how long it will last?  Who knows whether, as his relationship with his kids deteriorates, he will become resentful of you and blame YOU.  It sounds like this (the horrid behavior) has been going on for some time.  What did your fiance do about it before?  What was different this time?  Was it because you were leaving with your daughter? (There's an opportunity to blame you and resent you).

I just don't see how your fiance seeing his kids outside of the home for any length of time is a viable solution.  And what if, god forbid, something happens to the BM?  My inclination would be to do one of two things.  First, you could walk away.  Remove yourself and your daughter from this shit show and get on with your life.  Second, you could get your own place with your daughter and continue to see your fiance.  Tell him he needs to get his kids under control and parent them so they act like decent human beings.  Then watch for progress.  If there is none, there's still time to walk away.

I just don't see a good outcome if you marry him and he continues to see his kids outside of the home or not see them at all.  What happens on holidays?  For major occasions?  Will you and your daughter be vilified by the in-laws and your fiance's friends?  Will his having "given up his kids" for you come up in every argument you ever have?  Will he resent your daughter for every transgression she might make?  She too will be a teen girl, and none of them seem to get through the teen years without some drama.  It's nice that he's chosen you for now, but how do you really see that playing out?

I met my husband when his daughter was 7. She is almost 16 now and it has been hell the past five years. She was great when she was younger but the minute she turned 11 that is when things started to change ana only get worse. She steals from me and is very disrespectful and thinks she is entitled. My husband and I fight constantly about her. I decided to sign ya up for marriage counseling to see if we can be on the same page again. I would suggest couples counseling and individual counseling as well. Trust me it does not get any better when you get married. Good luck. 

It sounds pretty intense in your area right now. Not having much information (see all above questions), its super difficult to know what kind of advise to give. I can only share my experiences.

I have a high conflict BM, and there are 2 Skids - both girls. The eldest has been a problem the entire time. not rhough anything Ive really done - I have no children of my own and have completely disengaged from the eldest. The youngest is a true joy. We get along really well, up to this point. She is almost a teenager, but I feel prepared.

The problem lies with the oldest. She has rejected her father and myself. She is a serial liar, verbally abusive, narcissistic disordered person that I cannot stand being around. I never could. She was living with us full time after high school graduation, and then just left - no word, no explanation other than she was staying with her "friend', a manager at work. Very few texts to Dh in response to his texts.

We left her room as is for about 6 months. Then, January of the following year, myelf, DH and Munchkin cleaned the heck out of it. Took the door off, took out the bed/bed base, 2 large dressers, a vanity, a chair. Bags and bags of crap. Cleaned and vaccumed. Put in a fish tank filled with koi, plants, a writing desk, and candles, rocks, shells, pottery. A bookcase to display it all. She wanted her room back after all that.

The point is, she will always be his daughter. She will always be disordered. Your fiance's wishes to walk on both sides will cause backlash eventually, no matter if you are married or not. I have been with DH for 5 years this summer, married 1. Toxic Feral will always hate me, simply for existing. Due to her outpouring of hatred for me, her treatment, I have closed the door.

Your Fiances daughters are getting worse not better,as time goes by. They are "feeding off" each other's toxic energy. Typically the eldest becomes the "ringleader", and the others follow along to keep the peace. Its the crowd mentality thing.

Definitely think about this relationship, and wait to get married. Keep reading here - it truly helped me gain perspective.

One bratty daughter can destroy a relationship. This man has four. Four!

No matter how many boundaries this man puts up or how solid a parent his is, I don't think he can herd that many cats effectively. Those young females are Mean Girls, meaning they practice Relational Aggression and triangulation against you and your poor daughter. They'll strengthen their sisterly bonds (and probably their bond with Head Witch BM, too.) over hating you. Should your fiance manage to get one under control, another will act up in an endless game of parental Wack A Mole.

As a parent, you have to prioritize your child and ensure that she lives in a safe, secure environment. Continue to date this man if you want, but please get your child away from that mess.

My first thought was "Listen to your daughter." It sounds as if she is in hostile territory.

What life are you creating for her? What are you modeling?  This will be her heritage that she carries forward.

Moving forward you will have four preteen/teen girls and one adjunct girl. Puberty x 5 girls. A made-for-tv nightmare.

My second thought was that BF/DH will have a really sore crotch from straddling the fence.  His choices may make his life temporarily easier but will most likely result in a spectacular flame-out.

Try to protect your daughter & good luck

They were rude to you in your house. I think good on him for telling them they are no longer welcome in the house. He can see them in other places hut I would not be letting girls like this push you out or push their father around.