Question about Vacations
Okay, so every year we do a family beach trip for the kids. His 12 yr old daughter, and my 4 year old daughter. we are still doing this as planned in August.
Well, I really want to take my daughter to Disney World with my parents. The issue is that my husband is giving me a lot of grief about him and his daughter possibly not coming. The problem i have is that if they come, .. 1. His daughter is spooiled and will get her way with everything. we will barely see them. And his daughter had mentioned that if we all go to disney she HAS to have the special pass so she can skip all the lines?!?!?!? just be greatful she might even go!!! I really don't want to deal with drama if they come.. and I know she will cause a fuss.
Honestly, I would rather go with just my parents and daugther so I can enjoy the time, and not stress over my SD. PLUS, i wouldnt ever see my husband during that vacation.
One more thing.. off the subject. My husband went out of town for a WEEK... he came home late sunday around 130am when his plan landed. Came home, gave me a kiss and went to bed. I was already alseep. The next day.. i didnt see him in the morning. .. later that day when he was at work, he mentioned picking up his daughter. I thought it was a good idea and we could all have dinner together. WELL... when he walked in the door with her that night .. he practically ignored me.. not ONE hug,.. not ONE kiss.. he SAT BY HIS DAUGHTER DURING DINNER. After he took her home.. around 8pm.. he came home and was SUPER affectionate towards me?@?@?@? wtf is that?
I asked him why he refused to show me ANY affection in front of his daughter... but as soon as he got home.. he was all over me. He just apologized and said sorry for hurting my feelings. but after NOT SEEING ME FOR A WEEK.. thats weird! We just had our 6 month wedding anniversary.. so odd.
any thoughts on both?
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Doesn't sound good at all how
Doesn't sound good at all how your H is behaving honestly! I'd go and enjoy Disney on your own w/your parents.
By the way, those fast passes things are actually free and available at the park-depending on the time of year it's a pretty good idea to use them. It gives you exact times to come back and avoids long lines. Particularly beneficial with younger kids.
However personal opinion...August is a BRUTAL time of the year to go. HUGE crowds, very long lines, horribly hot weather, overall NOT a good month.
I remember my parents took us when we were younger around July...I STILL remember how miserably hot I was and it gives me anxiety....I don't know HOW people do it honestly-I would personally never attempt that with a 4yr old. You may want to look into another time of the year for it>?
oh thanks for the info on the
oh thanks for the info on the fast passes.. good to know!! I was actually thinking of going to Disney in May. We usually do the beach family vacation (which we still plan on doing all together) in August.
Now that sounds like a plan
Now that sounds like a plan indeed- May will still be hot but not AS bad...and a beach vacation in August is good....so you guys can do the family vac in August-and then you and your D to Disney in May?
And yeah....did you ask your H abotu his behavior? I noticed my bf is normally more reserved affection wise when he has his D but not as extreme as you are describing at all.
There seems to be a big problem w/men and daughters behaving this way on this site.
If money isn't an issue,
If money isn't an issue, maybe have them go with you anyway since it sounds like you won't see you DH regardless, and it might keep the peace? I can't offer much advice on this as we've never taken SD on vacation with us. Before DH and I met, DH took SD and his now ex-gf on an expensive cruise which had really annoyed the ex-gf, and DH knew it, but did what he wanted. I'm thinking that many of the DH's here will do what they want when it comes to vacations and their kids. I don't know how I got so lucky except SD was/is a teenager. We went to a concert and stayed overnight at a hotel once with SD, and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that DH was dreading the whole event as much as I was.
As for your DH coming home after a week away, I would be just as upset as you. Just in my experience, my first year of marriage sucked compared to now (only almost 3 years) so I'm glad I waited things out.
Who would pay for Disney?
Who would pay for Disney? Whose trip is it, meaning who is planning it? If this is your PARENTS trip that they planned for their grandkid then that's what it should be- them takin their grandkid. Sd wasn't invited. If your parents are paying then even more reason to keep it just your dd. Has sd been before? If so maybe explain it to dh that this is your daughter's time to go. Does he want YOU totake his daugher without him? If he wants to take sd then he can do it on his finances and his time. Heck, he could even go at the same time as you, but it would be like two different vacations because he'd be with sd and you with dd. I also don't see what a 12yo and a 4yo would enjoy together. Explain that to dh, that since this is dd's 1st time to go that you and your parents will be catering to dd and doing everyhing SHE wants to do. Tell him his trip is really planned for dd by your parents and that sd prob wouldn't even enjoy it. Dh made a mistake in already opening his mouth about the trip to sd. If he hadn't opened it then you could've gone wihout sd even realizing it til after the fact. But I would 'spin it' as a grandparents trip and gift to their granddaughter. Also, how do your parents feel about sd going?
My parents aren't crazy about
My parents aren't crazy about SD. I mean, they like her.. but they have seen the way she acts.. and it isn't pretty. She acts like a selfish brat. And unfortunately, they try to visit when we dont have her those weekends. My parents do try to make her feel welcome.. but there is always "drama" with her.. and they way she talks to her dad is so disrespectful. My parents rather not be around that enviroment.. especially when they take time to travel here from out of state.
If my husband came, he would bring his daugter. I would not bring her without him. She always acts up when I am stuck watching her while my husband goes to the store. Runs around the house... no regard for anyone. I refuse to watch her anymore.
I did try to spin it before that it was just something my parents wanted to do for my daughter, but my husband took offence to it. I told him there was no difference,.. as my SD's grandfather sometimes picks my SD up from school and spends time with her. But even he has stopped doing that because of her poor additude. and all she wants him to do is spend money on her. He has learned his lesson as well!!
SD went to disney when she was 4yrs old when her parents were still together.
My parents are the same way.
My parents are the same way. They are kind to ss but prefer to visit when he isn't here. If we visit when we have ss they don't say anything but just prefer him to not be around. Recently my mom had been talking about us visiting her only brother across country- no ss as this is HER family who ss doesn't know. Dh got his feelings hurt and tried to force us to take ss. So now trip is 'off'. (technically wasn't 'on' as ot was just talk) In your case, would you mind not going? Would you let your parets just take your dd? That way dd gets a trip to Disney with no sd trying to control the trip? And ifyou don't go dh doesn't have to feel left out? My parents have taken my dd out of state on a trip before and she loved it. I know, it's Disney, though! Other than that let him go with you but he can have his own vacation with his daughter without you. You and your fam can be at one end of the park while he is with his daughter wherever she wants to be. Just make your own plans and if sd wants to do something different then let him deal with his precious princess.