That would piss me off too. We send nothing with the skids when they go to BM's house. They go back to her in the clothes they showed up at our house wearing.

There's no reason SD should be able to smuggle clothes out of your house. Check her bags before she leaves if you have to. Or better yet, just disengage and let DH handle it }:)

I just posted on another thread about how aggravating the mental gymnastics these Dads do to defend their skids are. You know skid is guilty, you know know skid lied, you know Dad is deluded...yet you're the harping shrew because you're commenting on One Shirt, or One Wrecked Flower, or One Wrecked Calendar, or One Dead Aquarium Fish (all recently mentioned items on this site that sound trivial on their own, but when compounded over and over and over are a symptom of the larger problem).

Yeah, I hate that kind of stuff too. Plus we have COMPLETELY different tastes in clothing. I always make sure they wear the same oversized baggy crap they came in back to BM but sometimes there's issues with shoes. We just bought my SS a nice new pair of tennis shoes (plus clothes) for the start of school and he wore them to BM. Fine, but he came back to us in flip flops and all we have for him are some loafers that don't really go with every day school wear. When my DH asked BM to get the tennis shoes to us, she claims she doesn't have them.

Also, they always take toys we buy for them back to her house but they never come back. Then they complain that they don't have anything at our house.

My fiance also gives a lot in CS to his EX and they stay with us more now than they did when the agreement was first put in order 3 years ago. Well, we are buying more for them and they do the same wiht the stuff, they take it home. My SD always pulls the same mess about not having anything to do and I have told her flat out that I don't care because she should have left the items we buy her at our house. THen, if she keeps complaining I will give her plenty of work to keep her busy. My fiance at least finally went to the courts to have her brought in to discuss a reduction in support, FINALLY. I am tired of seeing his EX with brand new tattoos and her kids in hand me downs. We buy the kids stuff and take them extra because she is such an idiot about money that her utilities are constantly being turned off. If I could tolerate his daughter, then I would ask that he go for full custody, but at this point I don't think I could handle it.

Oh do I hear you!!!!! My FDH pays $1300 a month for two kids and I truly believe BM pockets as much of that as she can and forces us to pay for kids there and here! She did not get either kid anything new for school beyond the single pair of tennis shoes she will expect them to wear the entire school year. And they are ugly colors that will not match anything.

We have separate wardrobes for each home, but when skids get here in mornings to get on bus, if they hate what they are wearing (95% of the time) they change into the clothes they have here.

Her biggest trick is not ever feeding the skids. Like last night... she was supposed to have both kids until 6:30. Deal is parent with custody first is to feed the kids dinner. Well, she got SD11 after school at 4:00 and took her home with her. Picked SS13 up at soccer at 5:30 ... and dropped them BOTH off at our house immediately after! NO DINNER. She does this shit all the time. My FDH will not say anything to her and it makes me so mad I want to kill everyone.

We never let anything leave the house...Works great and stops the drama. If they wore it here, they wore it home. Shoes were fine since they only really wore one pair. I tried to work with BM for a vacation once and she wouldn't help out so I stopped. SD tried to smuggle stuff out and I called DH and he grounded her. Worked great...But, your DH has to be involved or it is futile....

Last year I bought my son all his jeans...... when they send him back they always send him back in OLD jeans that are too short OR crappy shorts. I bought 8 pairs of jeans for my son for school and I have 3 pairs left...... this year I'm not doing this. I told my son he has to bring it ALL back. I don't care if its dirty or not. Put it in your backpack. I'm so tired of spending all that money and never seeing the clothes. I had to start throwing away the jeans they would send him back home in because they were almost 2 years old. They also use to take the things my daughter would borrow from me and wear. They would put it in their dresser and keep it. Until I called to ask for my things back. The games parents play are assnine. It's tiring.

Last year I sent skids back to BM's with TONS of clothes. My son is really picky so he had several BRAND new shirts he refused to wear. But SS15 loved them so he got them. Along with several pairs of jeans from the year before that my son out grew. (not the pants I was just bitching about) and this year I bought half of skids school supplies and sent them home with extra clothes that I myself bought. BUT none of it is good enough. And it's never enough with BM. She always demands more more more. I don't understand where she gets the idea that skids need to live beyond everyone's needs. She complains there is never enough money yet these kids each have more than any kid should have. And name brand EVERYTHING. The last time I sent SS15 home with NEW nike's they weren't good enough she sold them at their local second hand store that gives in store credit. I was fucking pist.

The games they play are assnine.

SD15 lives with us fulltime. We bought all of her new school clothes, sneakers and spent a ton of money. SD asked for a new backpack. We told her to ask BM since she does nothing else for her. She asked BM and BM said her and her mother would split the cost (SD wanted an $80 North Face of course)Turns out BM owed money to her drug dealer so BM's mother had to buy the backpack.

Years ago BM would get SD after school just for the first few weeks of school. She would strip SD of her brand new clothes, put on used dirty clothes and sell all the expensive clothes to the shop across the street. Within weeks SD would have no new clothes left!! I wouldn't put it past her to try this again.