BM doesn't want to pay CS so she will just be the babysitter...
My SO is the custodial parent of SD10. In the last couple months any time there is supposed to be a visit with BM she txt an hour or less before hand not to bring her. Theres no court ordered visitation my SO works it out between them. Well, these last few months I have been her primary care giver. Her mom has had her maybe a few days out of several months. It used to be almost half and half as she doesn't pay CS.
So she had canceled yet again about 2 weeks ago, and my SO had enough. He said she could forget about seeing her anymore because we couldn't handle having to deal with SD10's disappointment and looking like the bad guys. Then on the rare occasion BM did take SD10 she would PAS us and tell SD10 everything was our fault. BM says that things have been tough and she can't handle having SD10 any more.
BM txt SO yesterday, -I got SD10 snow boots that you need to come get, since God knows you don't buy her anything you selfish asshole- Wow, ok. So we feed her, pay for a place for her to live, pay for her toiletries, drive her to school every day, do homework with her, buy her toys. No we dont buy her a lot of CLOTHES because she has UH TON of clothes. She has 2 grandmothers who buy her SO MUCH.
SO and BM get into it. And despite me telling him not to give her the satisfaction of a reaction he still argued with her. She spouted all kinds of crap like "shes stuck with SD10 more than we are" then she says SHES going to take us to court. Really?? After we already have been given custody you want to go there? And we know she never would especially after just telling us she doesn't want her and shes too much for her. SO tells her to go ahead and save us the trouble that way when SHE takes us to court we can go ahead and get CS from her. Well, now she wants to work with us. Translation, I dont want responsibility OR to pay money so I will do the absolute minimum of whatever you ask me to do.
So we set up an after school visit and BM after not having seen her child for weeks decides to make it up to her, takes her to Chuck E Cheese for the night and gives her all the stupid crap her mom bought for SD10 and PAS me, and give her all the sweets she wants.
So I get to be the disciplinarian, the one who does her laundry, cooks for her, does homework with her and then you get to be fun mommy who talks shit about the evil SM. Great, just great.
Upside, SD10 gets to see her mom and other siblings and I get a break every once in awhile.
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Honestly she will be MOTY for
Honestly she will be MOTY for what a month and then go right back to what she was doing. Just be there for you SO and for your SD, it has to be hard on her, I bet in the back of her head she knows that you are more of a mom to her then BM. hang in there.
So glad she's "involved" with
So glad she's "involved" with SD again...let's hope she STAYS involved since she has a history of being an uninvolved POS.
That being said, she still needs to pay CS unless it's a true 50/50, which is isn't & more than likely, never will be. As you know, Nasty doesn't feel that she should be required (by law) to pay CS. I am thrilled that the courts agree that just because they spawn doesn't mean their job is done when they don't feel like being mothers anymore.
Can your SO just go through the CS division & get it sorted out? Here in Texas, ours can open an account & work out who needs to pay what without the parents being charged. That's if there's no standing CO in place.
You MUST pick a name for this BM...just saying
Are you the stepmom of one of
Are you the stepmom of one of our BM's other children? LOL This sounds exactly like that crap we go through. I keep a running email journal of visitation cancellations. I simply write myself an email and send it to myself. Keep all emotion out of the email, only list the facts. I will also email myself the reports of PAS occurring, or issues I think might be beneficial, should we have to go back to court again. When I had this info for our initial court case the lawyer LOVED it. It may not necessarily be used as court documents, but it sure helps us in recalling things that took place, and the time frame. It really gives the lawyer a clear view of what he is dealing with, and more importantly, how to proceed.