That happened once to me very early on in our relationship. I was pretty crushed at the time. It never happened again though. I have never called him by someone else's name but then I don't have any ex's. I didn't have any serious relationships until I met my Dh. I focused on college and work.
Now my ss accidentally calls me by Bm's ex-boyfriend's name. It's a little insulting since he is like 2 and 1/2 times heavier than me and um, well, a MAN!. However, our names are slightly similar so I guess I shouldn't take it personally.

Dawn

DH called me his ex's name twice. Both times in the third person, not to me directly. Once *very* early in our relationship, over 4 years ago. I was crushed. The second time was 8 months before we got married. :-O He tried to cover up the second time and was embarrassed. I have never called him by an ex's name, although I do call him by his son's name, and the dog's name :), from time to time. I call his son his dad's name and the dog's name. And my SS -- hell, he will run through the whole gamut before he gets to my name. I've been called "mom" "nana" (v. flattering, yes) and his stepdad's name, which is just one letter off from mine, annoyingly enough. Even SD slips and calls me "nana" or stepdad's name from time to time, and she's a very careful little person. I just laugh--they have a lot of close, loving people in their life, and that's a good thing. Who can blame them if they can't keep them all straight!

I hope I never hear ex's name directed at me/referring to me again. It will make me v. unhappy. But given all the craziness described above--and my DH's penchant for messing up names anyway--I'd probably knock him in the head and then stick it in the "sucks but what do you do" column.

Sorry you had to hear that from your DH. Always an owie.

usually during arguments. I just laugh it off...I figure if he only uses her name when he is mad, then it can't be because he misses her! Actually, it only happened during the first few years we were married; it hasn't happened in a long time.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, especially if he knows that it upset you this time.

When we were fighting, and he wanted to insult me, he called me by her name. I laughed! And that made him more upset.

My dh's family calls me by her name, and then they try to make it look like an accident, when they are really just trying to be insulting, so when my dh has done it accidently, I can't really get pist off.

I think it's a matter of how your perceive it, especially when it is an accident. For me, I know my dh loves me, and really has absolutely zero feelings for his ex, and if he does accidentally call me her name, he is immediately remorseful.

And, when we are upset with each other, he no longer calls me by her name to try to make me upset.

This has happened to me once by my husband who will NEVER do it again, and several times by my MIL, who still, after 20+ years remarried, slips and calls her husband by her ex-husband's name! My mom has done it to my stepdad, my stepdad has done it to my mom. My FIL has done it to my MIL. It's really nothing personal. There's no secret, subliminal message... sometimes it's just an innocent slip.

With my MIL, whom I really love a lot and I know loves me back just as much, I joke around with her and say, "No, MIL, that was the bad DIL. I'm, Anne, the good DIL." We laugh and move on. No biggie. The one time my husband did it, we'd been married less than a year, but they'd been apart for over four years. It was in a situation where I was hovering over his kids, making them lunch at his mom's house, and his mom had already slipped and called me by the BM's name once that day. It was a total accident. I didn't like it, but I did find a way to milk it to my advantage... I made him take me to Dairy Queen for a hot fudge sundae and for the rest of the visit at his mom's house, he was at my beck and call, doing whatever he could to make me happy. My MIL asked me to please not be mad at him, it was just a mistake, and I told her that I wasn't mad, but I was sure going to enjoy the extra service while it lasted. I think that was probably the moment she and I became comrades!

It does sting when it happens, but you can't take it personally. We all screw up. Especially husbands! Let him off the hook and, believe me, you'll get more back if you forgive him and let it go than you would if you were mad at him. A little good-natured ribbing is fine, but don't be seriously angry with him. It's not worth it.

~ Anne ~

We are the masters of our own fate; the architects of our own destiny.

When it's an accident, I usually just brush it off. I know accidents happen and I try not to hold it against him. He's only done it a couple of times on accident and I never made a big deal about it.

But he has this thing (he hasn't done it in a long time) where when I'm doing something he doesn't like, he'll say "Ok BM" or something like that. I hate that. It absolutely sets me on fire. I just stop talking and walk away when he does that. I've let him know how much it offends me and that I do not appreciate him EVER calling me someone else's name on purpose. I am Nymh and he can call me that or he can call me nothing at all, because if he doesn't have the respect for me to call me by my name and would rather make comparisons between me and BM, I have better things to do with my time than sit and listen to such disrespect. Maybe I make too big a deal out of it but that's something I just can't stand!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

It's happened to me too. Not only by my DH, but by his parents too. My name is very similar to his ex's though. I know he loves me. I know my ils love me. Even though I know it's a slip of the tongue, it still cuts.
I think though, it's just an innocent, human mistake.

Hey...don't sweat it really. I mean if he said it during sex..her full name...then yeah id be ubber pissed. But I've called my husband by my cats name once so no biggy. He has never done it and we all have brain fumbles...he never meant it to hurt you...maybe he was thinking about her and how much she pisses him off. If he hasn't done it in 3 years or so, really don't worry about it...I would tease him about it and laugh about it with him actually. When I catch my husband rubber necking at a beautiful woman..it doesn't bother me..I tease the shit out of him though and he laughs like a little boy. It's all good..no worries.

" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore

That super sucks but I can say that I have done it too and I have been apart from my ex for 5 years. It just slipped out. I love FH and felt awful when it slipped but I honestly couldn't help it. I'd give him a pass on this one.