EX WIFE,, that wont stop
Im glad I found this website, I thought I was going to go out of my mind. Few people can understand, the frustration and aggravation and ex wife can bring
When I met my husband 5 years ago, I never imaged in my wildest dreams the hell his ex wife would give us. I thought we would live like a big extended family, . My husband and I have been living together for 4 years and both sold our previous homes to buy a house together. I have a 16 son and 14 daughter. He has a 14 year old son,, that comes every other weekend.My ex husband is remarried and I like his new wife. My ex husband wife is lovely and we always hug hello when we see each other periodically.
The first year we were dating I should have saw the signs, that my husband ex wife was jealous and petty. When we bought our house almost instantly she went into action. She is remarried to a wealthy man for almost 9 years now. We bought the house in Dec 2004 In Jan 2005 we received our first supeona. (one of many).. I thought I would type out all the gory details of 4 year court ordeals with her and her dumb husband. Never in my life had I heard so many false accusation lies manipulation then I have in these years. Anyone who knows about this will attest that going to court is no pleasure trip and it can haunt you everyday until the case is closed. We could never afford a lawyer and my dislike for lawyers have grown almost as much as my dislike for her and her husband..
Basically she took my husbands rights away as a father. First his educational and now his medical.. Why ?? .. she wanted their son in $20,000 ayear school and she wanted the child on Growth Hormones,,(that is not medically required) .
We lost both cases due to lies and manipulation, the only thing the judge saw was that if she wants it..she has to pay for it. Probably after the watched the 8 hour depo that that put my husband thru, they treated him like a criminal.
She went after us for increase in child support the same week she bought a hummer.
She follows everything thing we do and then has to upgrade hers, we were thinking about getting a pool, she put in an Olympic pool,, my husband has a motorcycle ..she bought a red chopper. On and on and on
But the most frustrating thing is that she uses her son to tell us stories, she is always in our business and always trying to tell us what to do when we have the child.
She makes up a story for everything..if we cant take my stepson to a sports game due to a previous commitment. She emails us nonstop telling us the kid will be thrown off the team, that he will not be picked next year..the drama …it’s a killer and always wants to bring us back to court. The emails are like a horror story
My relationship with my stepson is great, I try to teach him values and right and wrong. When I first met him five years ago, all he talked about was how much he had, all the kids love and adore each other, together as a group no-one would not know that they are not related by blood. I think that this is part of her jealousy; she has no other children except a stepdaughter from her husband that lives in anther state, not surprising that the wealthy husband hardly ever sees her.
At sports events she bad talks us.
People say keep out of it. I try but this is my family, My husband is so fed up, this is a man that is an excellent father and if we had tons of money we probably could get more visitation time or custody, but we just dont have it.
The child looks just like his mother, and when things come out of his mouth that I know is false and she told him. I begin to dislike him, even thought I love him. He is getting older but he is so brainwashed by her and secretive, she is on the cell phone with him constantly, that it is not a happy environment sometimes.
I never had such hostility for one person not even my ex husband. I wonder sometimes if I had know would I have taken my relationship this far. I remember sitting in the court room listening to more drama and lies on my birthday...The worst part about it, is that it is all unneccessary not based on truth or consideration, She is jeoulous manipulitive women.
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Wow we could be twins
I have the same problems.. almost exactly. The BM has taken us to court for everything. She has done everything under the sun including making allegations in a sworn court document that we are not taking care of the kids, on and on. She decided to get my SS braces even though we asked her to wait 3 months so we could put him on our dental so it would pay for almost everything, but of course it was her control and she did it anyway. So guess what we have to pay even though we fought it. We found out a couple weeks ago that she has been getting a stipend for their disabled daughter every month that she never disclosed, for 3+ years. Nobody really cares.. It is frustrating and the people that say stay out of it, have never been through a Christmas where your husband can't buy his new wife a small gift becuase he just had to pay 1000.00 on his SS braces. Our BM took him to court on contempt charges because he didn't pay for SS braces and guess what she won.. She wouldn't take payments she wanted all of it up front and even threatned my H to go to jail. How can a spouse stay out of that.. Your H was put in jail because of his ex wife and you are supposed to sit back and say "I am staying out of it".. UGGG.. can you tell this has been said to me before.. I feel for you .. All I can say is try to get on with your life with your children and your new H. I had the same issues with BM emailing all the time basically telling us what to do like we were idiots and threatning us all the time. We finally blocked all emails from her.. that has helped a lot.. They only talk on the phone, it is easy to hide behind a keyboard and be a bully but sometimes women can't be bullies in person.
Wow
Thanks for replying ..its a crazy way to live. the BM wanted to get braces for my ss also, and she went to 3 ortho, they all said the same thing he doesnt need them. otherwise we would be in the same exact boat.
Isnt it amazing how someone can do or say anything to get what they want. I would go thru all the documents and wonder how could she think of these thing? They are so false and then to sit in the court room and have someone vouch for her lies. My poor husband has aged so much these past years, even thought we put on a good face its always in the back of your mind..What next? If the mailman rings my bell..my heart stops.
BM 's wealthy will just keep laying out the money for these lawyers.
In the modification documents, it states that they must communicate by email only, because thru the years when you try talking to her , she goes in profanity then screams and hangs up.
2 years ago I wanted to put this all behind us and meet for dinner..haha. then we got the supeona that she wants my ss to go on growth hormones because she doe not want him short and he LUVs basketball. no medical requirements, she is paying out of pocket.
Now my ss takes a shot everynight. She would not let nature take its course and dis-regarded anyone opinon..
Once my ss said to me " I get $100, 000.00 if my father dies" she told him about our life insurance. :jawdrop:
We did get her a different email address, my husband will take the slander a little more then I will. He is tired. but I feel like enought I have to defend him. Im tired of reading lies and the drama...I swear I want to give her applaudes in court..Bravo that was the best act Iv ever seen. She testifed once in court that she was only making 16,000.00 as a waitress, then drove home from court to her mansion in a hummer.
I now that you must feel the same way, its sad situation but this is your family, your husband your children and your stepchild. Oh once in court they tried to make it look like my husband drinks? so they ask him do you drink alot ? My husband said YES, and then the lawyers said how much do you drink a day. and my husband said ..I have coffee try and get 8 glasses of water a day but its hard. THe judge laughed but it just goes to show how silly it all was. They stop at nothing.
That drinking comment made
That drinking comment made me laugh.. Good one.
Let me ask you, do you go to the court hearings with your husband? I never have but this time I am thinking about going because he seems so alone.. He doesn't have his attorney or anything there with him and one time he told me that the BM and her attorney were both out in the parking lot laughing at him afterwards. I about died. In addition after he got his a** handed to him in the contempt case for not paying for ss braces, after the hearing she handed him another bill for the kids' eyeglasses.. right there in the court room. It is just disrespectful and mean. If I was there I would of said put it in the mail. It is so mean.. I can't imagine doing that even if it was a person I didn't like.. He already got a judgement against him leave him alone for a little bit..
Oh my gosh
Oh my gosh, same here,
Well yes I go with him to the hearings, you know why ? first because their is so much information go around, it is so stressful for your husband he is not catching all the details, I pick up alot more of what is said and done, His concentration is getting thru this..We do not have lawyers either. We would of had to get a second mortgage and she was so wrong on so many things that we thought the judge would see that. ha
Also it rattles her, when she sees me. Once my husband sister came. She turned pale when she saw her. I sit on the side of the room and I usually face my husband, so their at the table ..ex with lawyer, and my husband sitting lonesome. I want the know judge to know that he has family that cares.
Once the drama starts flowing and I know she is in a big lie I will shake my head NO..then my husband know he has to say something about that.
I think the first time the judge said to her lawyer "Do you object to Me sitting in the courtroom for the hearing. and the lawyer said no,,,Im not really sure if that is a rule of some kind to ask.
Anyway, like you said you resonde faster,to her, My husband would of took the envelope too. We discuss things before and after the hearing so he is just not standing their alone staring into space
Once we left the hearing at the same time. and I held the elevator for them..she saw me in the elevator and turned away. I know she was upset. I smiled at her.
Plus I hate to be manipulitive but once after court hearing I went and hugged him and smiled like we won, she was baffled and angry
Dont let her (them , lawyers) intimate you or dont let them see they do, you know the best revenge sometimes is you be supportive and happy...
She wants you and your husband miseralble otherwise she wouldnt be so petty.
Stand by your man..ha...and show her and everyone else that whatever she does its doesnt really effect you personally.
Shes the disrespectful mean one..your the supportive loving wife.
hehe
When I get home from hearing is when I go bonkers.
Hme ss
home now..wanted to go Christmas shopping. The only person home is my ss. I told him we would go to eat together alone, then pick ups some presents, then pick up stepsister then off to soccer
BIG NO..no reason, no with smug attitude. He has been home all afternoon, I know him. BM is in a screwed up mode again, so of course the ss cannot spend quality time with me. I told him he could pick out his christmas sneaker, said now he doesnt want them. I feel like just leaving him here but I know his BM called him twice already. THese are the times he feels he needs to be loyal to her. He is only here for one day. If he was my bio child I would just throw him in the car. but if I do that he calls everyone crying and angry.
Sometimes I feel bad,
My SS never ever calls his
My SS never ever calls his Dad. He is 17 and lives most of the time with his mother, but we always took them to get her birthday cards, mother's day card, etc. When he is over here she calls 6 to 7 times a day. It is unreal. We tried the boundary of calling our home after 6 and she can talk to the kids, but no.. she pays the cell phone bill she can call her son anytime she wants.
I knew exactly when she would call because he would become distant and snotty.. I hated it... Now it is so bad he never calls his dad for anything. Makes my H mad and at the same time very sad.. I couldn't imagine out that would feel but it happens all the time even with parents that are still married so it wasn't his fault.
Leave it at the door.
If I were you I would make him leave the cell phone turned off at the door. If he needs to use the phone--use the land line, get caller ID. When you see she is calling say "well now is not a good time, she must call 1 time after 6 pm". Let him call her then. Both of them will get the point--it is a house rule, you're not keeping him from her. One phone call a day is plenty, even a cranky judge would agree.
With my SD9 anything she comes over with after school on Friday (for our weekend)that is BMs gets left in the closet. She can have it back Monday morning when we drop her off at school. We only allow her to call BM if she is sick, something really exciting happened for SD etc. But we are lucky BM doesn't call unless it is important (reschedule something).
I agree
I wish I could just get rid of that cell phone, BM also pays for it, when he does not talk to her, he is more relaxed, The texting. He texts BM all day. My H has the same problem..SS wont call his dad for days, I know he feels sad and angry too.
Once BM left a text msg, that I saw "what did you eat for dinner"
I felt like reply back..."they gave me cardboard"...what the heck do you think.???."
but I didnt.
Gosh you are so funny "never
Gosh you are so funny "never ending". I am going to take your advise and go with him to the next court hearing. I did break down this time and get a lawyer because the BM "dumbass" as I like to call her threatned to put him in jail for not paying all of the judgement in one full payment. I never did this before but when he talks to his lawyer I am right there asking questions and asking for results. I never did this before as I always was told by family and friends "stay out of it". I was so scared that I thought we needed to get one, I don't trust her. I am still skeptical I don't know if it will help much but we will see. We don't have a lot of money either.. but I make a good living, own my own home and car, etc. I never thought my life would end up like this.
Dumb and Dumber
We call our ex and her husband "Dumb and Dumber" , we also have various other names for her, that are unmentionable.
Sorry for babbling on and on and on , I just found this website today, and its been so hard to find people who understand. My family says the same thing,keep out
Once I think things have cooled down, she makes an eruption and pulls us back in
Anyway its good you got a lawyer, their is just to much information out their and your Husband has rights too. Its very scary because you just dont know what they are going to to do ,,,or make up.
Have they asked for your financial records? thats a tough one. I hate the thought of her knowing personal information about us.
I never thought people did this kind of stuff too. I remember when my husband got his first court papers...."I kept saying WHAT? WHAT? I don't understand ...is she crazy"
little did I know.. ha
Let me know if I can help
Ladies, please, please,
Ladies, please, please, please do not allow your husbands to go to court without legal representation. I know it is expensive but some staes have programs established that can help you. The system is already so pro-BM that any man who enters a courtroom alone has the odds stacked against him 50 times worse then if he had a lawyer by his side.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
All I can say is...WOW. How
All I can say is...WOW. How long ago did they get divorced?
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
I found out about that the
I found out about that the hard way. But when is it enough? When you have a BM that will take you to court for everything.. what do you do? I swear the BM does this on purpose just to get us divided.. She knows that he can't afford it but knows that I work and own my own home. My H had to file Bankruptcy and I am afraid she is driving me into the poor house as well. Attorney's are expensive and if you make decent money you can't qualify for legal assistance. It is a catch 22.. What do you do? It won't stop either. I know they say money isn't everything but when you are just working to get a paycheck to fight off the BM when do you stop?