Hello, I titled this, "It's getting tough" when I should have titled it, "It's always been tough". I've been with my partner for 5 years now and all five of them were spent with his daughter (she was 6 then). Her BM is a recovering drug addict, who was in and out of jail for most of those years, with zero contact, which made me truly "mom".

Within the past two years, BM has "cleaned-up" enough to sue us for visitation, which she was granted 21 days a year. SD has asked BM to sign over rights in order for me to legally adopt her, but BM refuses.

We are a traveling family, have been on the road for two years now, teaching, learning, growing and exploring. My partner is in the tech field making it a perfect environment for travel. I homeschool SD (I have been for three years now) and things at school have been getting real tough these days with a lot of attitude and tantrums (almost like she's a toddler agian).

So there's the short background. Here's my vent:

My 11 year old SD has recently returned from a 7 day "vacation" with her BM. She came back from this trip a different kid. She is so disrespectful, angry, mouthy, and just plain rude now. She seems to have terrible anger toward both of us, but mostly her father. I am sure BM has filled her head with BS regarding the past, yet she won't talk about any of it.

Home life has become a challenge with chores not being completed, laziness, lack of motivation, and a lot of back talking. EVERY time I feel strange trying to discipline her and her glares and mean faces really get under my skin. I feel like this kid is beating me up, mentally.

Does anyone have any advice for a struggling step mother.