My bf and I have been together for 7 years. He was divorced 2 years before I met him. At the time I met him, he had a son 6 and another son 12. The solder son never accepted me and made my life a living hell. The younger one was indifferent towards me. He struggled in school socially and was always attached to his father. He would always tag along with his father, even though my bf did try to get him to do his own thing. 2.5 ago, the older son who was 17 at the time, called me a fu****** cu**. It was the last straw for my bf and he made ss17 leave. My bf set up a place and job for ss17 to live in. ss17 begged to come back, he even cried but my bf was firm and said no. 2 days later the cops come knocking and say ss17 shot himself and left a suicide note. He wrote that he was not loved by anyone and that his father had left him just like his mother had. My bf's ex-wife had gotten into drugs and ran away. We still have not heard from her. My bf was destroyed. He blames himself for everything. He is on prozac now to help him but it is still a struggle.

ss13 has hated me ever since his brother died. He also calls me curse words when he is angry but now my bf is so guilty that he will refuse to say anything to him. Every birthday and christmas is over the top. At least $500 is spent on him. Last christmas it was $1500. ss13 is never disciplined and I am always dreading to go home. ss13 has had a party in our house when we were not home 3 months ago. When we got back the place was trashed. My bf gently told ss13 he should not have done that and started to help ss13 clean up the place! I was shocked. I love my bf dearly. But how do I help him overcome this guilty daddy feelings. He is going for therapy but it is not doing anything. ss13 is well adjusted in school but I fear that without proper discipline, he will go down the wrong path.