Diva stepdaughter drives me nuts
My diva sd drives me and my kids nuts. This is an attractive young girl, she's 18 years old, tall, blonde and very pretty, but doesn't she know it. She's currently at college and works part time, sometimes doing promotional work. She needs her dads money for pretty much everything she does. She lives with her mum, supposedly most of the time, but seems to be spending more and more time at our place since the maintenance payments stopped on her 18th birthday.
What bugs me is this - my kids, 20 & 21yrs old, both work full time and pay board to stay with us. They also have chores to do round the house, and I admit it's like pulling teeth getting them to do these anyway. But the darling sd floats in, "joins" us for coffee, meals etc, does nothing to help around the place, and constantly brags about how gorgeous she is, and how much attention she is getting from super rich men these days. we are blessed with a few French sentences cause she's studying French, reminded again of how important she is, them she taps her dads pocket for money to fund her entertainment for the weekend, so she can come back and brag again about how fantastic and magical her life is.
I'm probably sounding like I'm jealous, and maybe I am a little tiny bit. This girl is very clever with her words and plays on every chance she can get to make out like I have offended her somehow. (I asked her to sweep a mat).The tears well up in her eyes as she relives the moment to dad, & it's sickening. My kids can't believe she gets away with all this, and although my daughter is a beautiful person, and quite pretty too, she's nothing compared to this glamour puss and the sd lets it be known over and over again.
Does she have no regard for other peoples feelings??? How do we cope with this, and will she ever really grow up??
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Comments
Sounds like she has a
Sounds like she has a personality disorder to me. Can you say entitled. If she is going to cry when you ask her to clean a mat, what is she going to do in the real world, where in a job, etc you are going to ask to do things like work, and sometimes the job maybe boring, or hard or something you don't like but you can't just cry and think your boss will say "okay your crying and your so pretty don't worry about it". Isn't going to happen.
It always has pissed me of that my ss16 has had different rules then my bs12. my bs has rules at our house my ss doesn't.
This is not okay with me and unfair to my bs12. Your dh is setting this child up to believe she is going to find a man to bale her out of every situation. She may find that for a while, but in the end your kids will be better off because they learned rules, respect, and how to be self-sufficent.
This girl sounds extremely manipulative, and I would have a hard time with this as well having bc.
Could you talk to dh about how you feel and how this is not fair to your bc, or yourself.
If she wants to stay with you she needs to follow the rules
no one is more special then anyone else.
Good luck
Try something . .
When you ask SD to do things, do you ask her in front of your DH? If you don't, try doing that from now on. Ask her to do something very, very simple. When she starts crying about it, point out to her and DH how ridiculous it is. Get your B-kids in on the act too. Have them do something major like raking the leaves, and then ask SD to take a bag to the curb or hold a bag open while your B-kids are putting leaves into it. If she starts acting her usual way way, point it out - let her have it. Your kids work their butts off while she acts like a spoiled 5-year-old. If it becomes an issue with your DH, tell you b-kids to stop work. Let them off for a week or so. In fact, you take the week off too. No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry - you guys go on strike. If you're hungry, take the B-kids and go out to eat. Let SD take care of her own things - she's an adult now afterall.
If she starts talking about how wonderful and pretty she is, just recite something my grandma said "Pretty is as pretty does.." It'll probably go right over her head, but it'll probably make her wonder what you mean. "Honey, we all know you're beautiful . . . on the outside."
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
Spoiled
I agree with onehappygirl. I would definitely give her a few chores to do while she's there. But I would go a step further. If your kids are paying to stay with you, then she should do the same. You need to talk with your DH and even out the playing field. There's no reason why she should be treated like a princess while your BKs are pulling their own weight.
Thank guys for your
Thank guys for your comments. I know it seems trivial, but it's getting to the point where I don't enjoy it when she comes over. Bad luck for me, she's here for 6 days this week. Her BM won't let her bring the car to our place, so she need to use dads convertible to get around. No prizes for guessing my kids faces when she cruises off with the roof down. When I suggested she get an older car to run around in, she tucks her head, shrugs her shoulders and says -no one wants to drive a bomb!! Hey, my kids bought themselves one each!! And they're proud of it!!
We all think it's time she joined the playboy mansion!!!
Have taken your ideas on board - thanks again. Watch this space.